Page 69 of Her Second-Hand Mate

“We never used the weekend in Gloucester I gave you for Christmas. I was thinking we could go with Gabriel next week. It’s cooler by the sea,” I added to sway her decision.

“Will they let us change the reservation?” she asked, and when I stared at her blankly, she clarified, “We’ll need a crib for Gabriel and probably an extra bed,” she said, and my heart dropped.

“Of course,” I said and cleared my throat. “Should be no problem.”

“I’m sorry, Dominic, but you do understand, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“I feel like I went into this blind, and now I feel blindsided again.”

“In what way?”

She exhaled and leaned back on her palms.

“I don’t know, Dominic, why are you doing this now? Why all these changes? Last week, with the pack members, and then with the architect and the construction company male, now with the picnic... I never know what you’ll do next and why, and it’s unsettling,” she finished as she gazed out onto the lake.

“I was just talking to Vera about this the other day. Ever since Dad died... it felt like the hits just kept coming. And then everything with Cassandra happened and I just didn’t feel like I’d be able to take another hit. The only thing that held metogether was detaching myself completely. But then you came along, my sweet peach,” I reached out and touched her hand briefly, “and I just wouldn’t let myself believe your love and your goodness. I kept waiting for it all to fall apart, to be taken from me.”

I had to look away from her during this part because the shame was too much.

“But the joke was on me because I broke your heart and ruined it all for myself, and it ended up hurting anyway because I’d been expecting it to. A self-fulfilling prophecy, Vera called it. So, I’m done with that. You are the most important wolf in my life, and I want you to have everything you want and need. I want you to be happy. And selfishly, I believe I can be a big part of that.”

Penelope was silent for a while, and when she lifted her eyes to look at me, they were shining with unshed tears.

“While you were busy figuring out whether to let yourself be open to your mate or not, I had no idea what you were going through. I’m sorry that happened to you, but you must understand that, to me, you were who I had dreamed of for years, but you treated me like you were disappointed in me, like you didn’t deem me good enough or important enough. You didn’t make me a priority in your life,” she closed her eyes, and some of the tears spilled out.

I wanted to kiss them away but held myself back.

“You say these things now, Dominic, but your behavior over the last year has said many things as well. So excuse me for not falling at your feet the first time you showed me any appreciation or affection,” she said bitterly, and I couldn’t blame her.

Vera had been right. I shouldn’t have pushed.

“I don’t expect you to do that, Penelope,” I said in a weak voice, and Gabriel started crying, probably sensing how upset his mom was now, thanks to me.

She took him in her arms and offered him her breast, and they both relaxed when he latched.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you. Let’s not stop talking about this, but let’s do it in small doses, what do you think?”

She wiped her face with the back of her hand and nodded.

“Do you want a cup of tea?”

Her habit was back in full force after Gabriel's birth.

“You know I do,” she said with a small smile, and I reached for the thermos.

We’d be going to Gloucester in a week. Time would heal all. I had to believe that. I had to.

16 - Penelope

TW: mention of suicide attempt.

Waking up this morning felt like suddenly being thrown back into my body after having spent the night floating around somewhere else. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept so deeply. Must have been some time before I’d given birth.

Gabriel.

The thought had me gasping and sitting up in bed. I frantically felt around the unfamiliar bed, looking for his tiny body. The blue walls of the room were also new.

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