Page 79 of Her Second-Hand Mate

Once I helped her out of the tub and into a huge towel, she sat on the bed, and I brushed her wet hair before braiding it neatly. The process of combining the long strands into an intricate hair snake was soothing.

“It’s almost back to its original length, finally. I always loved your hair so much. I was devastated when you cut it, but I was also besotted with your defiant expression when you came home from the salon. Never seen anything like it. God, I was absolutelyin love with you that day. I still am,” I admitted and kissed her temple after I was done.

“Now, let’s get you dressed.”

???

“But what else can we do?” Lynn asked Vera impatiently as they sat in the living room with me, Penelope’s other friends, her brother and his mate, my mom, and her friends. Penelope was upstairs sleeping. Again.

“There’s nothing more you can do,” Vera replied with equal impatience. “I realize you all would like me to present you with a magical solution that would jolt Penelope back into her old self, but that’s not how this works.”

“How does it work?” Isaac asked.

He looked as tired as I felt. He was frustrated by not being able to get through to his twin. I was the only one in the group who seemed unbothered by how slowly Penelope was reintegrating into her life.

Vera looked at Isaac and whatever she must have seen in his face softened her eyes and voice.

“Different wolves need different amounts of time to process a loss. In Penelope’s case, there are several aggravating factors,” she said and used her fingers to count them all for us. “She already suffered a big unprocessed loss as a young pup. Then, in the last year and a half, she moved packs, got mated, had problems with that, and went through almost her entire pregnancy without her mate,” I looked down in shame as she listed my sins, “then she went through the process of birth andwas taking care of her newborn pup, barely out of the fourth trimester, when the woman who practically raised her died!”

Vera threw her hands up and took a deep breath before releasing it with a sigh.

“Penelope has been pushed to her limit. Now, in order to survive, she has shut down parts of herself. It happens all the time in nature. Organisms shut down everything but their vital functions in order to survive various ordeals. So, just continue doing what you’re doing.”

She looked around the room.

“From her mate, she needs love and physical closeness. She needs to eat, and so does Gabriel. Her friends – visit her and talk to her like she’s responsive and enthusiastic. She’ll come back to us when she’s ready.”

As I lay on the tiny bed in the nursery that night, spooning my mate to sleep, I kept replaying Vera’s words in my head. I thought about both my and Penelope’s unprocessed losses and was struck by the differences and similarities between us.

During the first loss, I'd swallowed my feelings and focused on caring for my mom. Penelope had probably been agreeable and quiet, desperate to help and be noticed and appreciated for being good and obedient.

As an adult, I'd reacted to my loss by lashing out like a wounded animal. I tried biting those who attempted to free me from my hurt without giving any thought to the pain I was inflicting on them. Penelope had apparently gone back to the quiet, wounded pup she had been, the one who lost a mother and gained a sister on the same day and then got a stepmother soon after.

Nana had probably acted like a dam, keeping the flood of feelings at bay, but the hour of reckoning had come, and it was all too much for my sweet peach.

I was now aware that Penelope and I understood each other better than anyone in the world. My brave, beautiful female. I’d wait for her to be ready to come back to me, no matter how long it took.

18 - Penelope

October 2022

Iwas running through a dark forest. I knew something was chasing me, but I could neither see nor hear what it was. Or who. My feet were bare, and at this point in the chase, every step hurt. But I knew I had to get to her. Nana. I knew she needed me. So I ran, and I ran, but I could never get close enough to get a glimpse of her.

“Penelope,” I heard someone in the distance.

It wasn’t a shout. It was just a voice saying my name.

“Penelope,” closer this time.

Accompanied by a touch. I opened my eyes and jerked back.

“It’s me. Dominic. You were having a bad dream. Normally, I let you sleep through them, but I was afraid you’d break a tooth. You were grinding your teeth so loudly.”

It was just a dream. Nana wasn’t in danger. I closed my eyes.

I immediately opened my eyes again, and I saw my gradual realization play out on Dominic’s face. I no longer hid anythingfrom him because I didn’t have the energy to. All the strength I had went to caring for Gabriel.

Dominic looked tired. He needed a haircut and a shave. And sleep. This tiny bed had to be uncomfortable for his huge frame. But I loved having him with me. I fed on his strength.

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