Page 72 of Midnight Danger

“You okay?” His voice sounded deep and raspy from the injury.

“Yes and no.” I would never be okay with killing someone, but Jordan was right, I preferred Xavier alive to Marco.

“You need to rest,” he said against my ear, sending shivers of awareness rippling down my spine. His hand spanned my slightly rounded tummy.

I turned in the circle of his arms until my head was against his heart again. Xavier’s hands slipped down under my ass and he lifted me to carry me into the main bedroom. I wanted to protest, but my arms wrapped around him instead.

Neither of us slept. Instead, we held each other in the darkness and talked like that night in The Midnight Rooms. I did most of the chatting, and Xavier occasionally croaked in. Moments like this were more intimate than sex because our souls lay bare to each other. Sometimes the darkness was the place where our past was exposed to the light.

Xavier’s bruises faded over the next week, and there were times that I wished my memories of that night would do the same. They were waiting for me every time I closed my eyes. The evil expression on Marco’s face as he choked the life out of Xavier, the shock in his eyes when I pulled the trigger, the vacancy as his blood trickled down the side of his face.

Marco was dead, but very much alive in my mind. Years ago, a counsellor told me that my family remained alive while I talked about them and remembered them. I didn’t want to remember him, but he haunted me like a poltergeist determined to make his presence felt.

My crochet ability was horrendous, my knitting not much better. The cardigan I created looked as if it had been fashioned for an octopus instead of a child. How the hell did I manage to achieve four arms and several holes in it?

I scrunched my nose up as I held the offending article in the air.

“You need some fresh air,” Xavier said, watching me from the doorway, his hip braced on the doorframe.

I scowled and eyed the yellow garment with disdain. “I need to work out what the fuck happened to the pattern.”

He laughed and lifted the cardigan. “I’m sure Bubble will look lovely in it.”

I snatched it off him and shoved it behind the cushion beside me.

Xavier bit his bottom lip in an attempt to prevent the smile I’d already witnessed. “At least I know what the cushions are for now.” He ducked when I threw one at him. “Come along, little feral beastie. We’re going out.”

He dragged me up and walked me backward into the bedroom, disappearing into the wardrobe to emerge with clothes for me. A mutiny churned inside me at the thought of leaving the haven of our home.

I hadn’t wanted to leave the apartment since that night over a week ago. It had imprinted itself on my psyche and left me unsettled. Bad things happened every time I left our home. If I stayed here, everything would be okay. Reluctantly, I dragged the clothes on and followed him from the sanctuary of our home.

The world felt too big outside, the sun too bright. I hugged my thick cardigan around me as I sat huffing in the seat beside him. The further from London we travelled, the more I relaxed until the trees didn’t seem so daunting and the sun no longer reminded me of an inquisition light. Murderers were supposed to be put in jail, not roam free because no one even knew their victim was dead.

It was only when we bumped across the dainty stone bridge that I knew Xavier was taking me to the home he’d been having renovated. The gardens had been given an overhaul as well, with sweeping lawns separated by hedging and flower beds. A large pond had appeared to the side of the house, with a pier stretching down from the side of it.

A lump formed in my throat as I sat staring at the pond that he’d had created just for me since I talked about wanting a pond for our children to watch wildlife in.

Xavier held his hand out to me when he opened the door. The air felt fresh and filled my lungs, allowing me to breathe properly for the first time in days. It seemed so long ago that I had selected colours for the house, but when we walked inside, I felt like I’d found my way home.

Many of the rooms were empty and waiting for furniture, but light cascaded in to reveal all the original architecture that had been preserved. The staircase had a curve that would allow children to slide down it, reminding me of my childhood home. Xavier watched silently as I explored. The further we went, the more my mood altered and I returned to the person I was before killing Marco.

My heart stopped when I opened a door and discovered a room with a cradle and shelves filled with books and teddy bears. My fingers traced the spines, and I knew some of them were from my family home. Xavier had brought them here for me to read to our baby. He wanted our pasts to be part of our futures. He also knew I wasn’t ready to face all of my ghosts just yet.

His chin landed on top of my head and his arms wrapped around my waist. “Welcome home, baby.”

“How did you know?”

His sigh expanded his chest behind me. “Because your eyes had lost their vibrancy and you were sad and lost. I needed to find my soulmate again because I missed her.” His lips skimmed the top of my head. “I still remember the first man I killed. Jordan would never have survived, and I had to make a split-second decision that still haunts me. Uncle Lucas asked me one simple question when I got the incident stuck in my head, and it helped me to learn to live with it.”

“What was it?” I twisted around so I could see him.

“He asked me if given an identical set of circumstances, would I do the same thing again? Without a doubt, I would. Jordan was one of my closest friends and I would do anything to protect him.”

I contemplated his words. There had been no decision to make that night. He walked onto that balcony determined to kill my husband, instigating the series of events that unfolded. The answer to Lucas’ question was yes, I would lift that gun and fire it all over again. For once, I was able to save Xavier instead of him always having to be the hero.

The master bedroom overlooked the pond, an en suite and walk-in wardrobe created in shades of gold. A four-poster bed sat in the centre of the room. I stopped, studying the bed for several seconds.

“Tell me you didn’t…” I gasped. A curtain covered most of it, but an elaborate structure with restraints was built into the beam between the two bottom posts.

---