Page 49 of Forbidden Wolf

On solid ground near the path that led back to my coven, I walked away one step at a time with my back straight until the helicopter disappeared. My legs gave way and I curled myself into a ball on the ground and screamed until my voice was hoarse and my lungs ached.

For ten years, I’d fought and promised myself that this war would not break me, that Castus would not tarnish my soul. Levi had done what this war and my coven master had been unable to achieve. He hadn’t just broken me; he’d totally destroyed me. Levi had ripped all my emotions out of me and taken them with him. Numbness spread through me like a disease, rendering me unable to feel. The only way I would ever be whole again was with Levi. I stared at the sky in the hope that the moon would be up there so that I would sense a connection to him. A touch ghosted down my back and I swore I felt fur against my face.

Standing shakily, I straightened my spine and vowed that I would find the missing pieces of myself along with Levi or die on the mission. All I needed to do was fit enough of the pieces of me back together again so no one could see the devastation he left behind.

***

Tasha

The coven walls kept me a prisoner inside them. Several weeks had passed since I returned, and in that time Castus’ scientists had poked and prodded at me until hope was too far away to grasp. I stared vacantly at the bag of blood on the table in front of me, unable to stomach the thought of drinking it. My finger picked at the label absently. Everything inside me was numb and disconnected from the world. Nothing mattered anymore.

“You need to eat, Tasha. Castus will send you to that medical unit again,” Sabine hissed beside me. Her blue eyes were filled with genuine concern.

When I made it back to base, I was a rambling mess, talking about monsters with tentacles and a master who wanted to claim me. They took one look at me and sent me to the isolation unit in the medical wing. When they declared me cured, they released me back into the coven to stay on desk duties.

No healing happened in that place of bright lights and white walls. The doctors tormented and tortured and took samples. They opened my side to cut a piece of flesh away to study it, and when I rebelled, they tied me down and pulsed electric currents through me. It wouldn’t kill a vampire, but it hurt like hell.

Sabine grabbed my hand. “Please, Tasha. Then we can leave here as a unit, far from their watching eyes.”

I nodded and picked up the bag. There was little point as I would be sick later, but I sipped the foul-tasting blood inside. My team chatted around me, and the world seemed normal even though I was vacant inside. At times, I pretended to interact, but then someone would stare at me strangely and I reverted into my protective shell again.

A coven guard approached our table, stopping beside me. “Castus has requested your presence.”

I set the bag on the table and followed the guard without reply. Normally there was fear inside when I was summoned by our leader, but now there was nothing. No emotions because I had no heart.

When I entered, Castus stopped prowling his room to study me with those red eyes that saw everything.

“Tasha.” He smiled, flashing his fangs. “I missed you. Come in.”

I stepped forward, my hands resting behind my back.

He paced around me, studying me from every angle. “What happened to you?”

My brow furrowed. When I told them the truth about the hellspawn, they hurt me, so I remained silent.

“You used to have fire and passion in you. Now, the flame has died.” His fingers trailed down my cheek. They were cold and clammy, like a dead fish.

I continued to stare at the wall, not flinching from his touch.

“The medics told me that you responded well to treatment,” he continued, his finger sliding down my throat and over the side curve of my breast. “But you do not seem to have recovered.”

He took another step closer to me, his breath fanning my neck. Without warning, he sunk his fangs deep into my throat. I gasped as a burning pain radiated down into my shoulder, my hands fisting at my side.

Castus reared back, spitting my blood onto the floor. He spun toward me, hissing with his fangs fully on display. “What happened you?”

I blinked, my fingers moving away from my throat to reveal my blood. “I told the medics what happened, about those creatures out there killing our people. They tortured me until I recanted my account and sent me back to my unit.”

My back hit the wall as his hand strangled me. “You were telling the truth?”

“Yes,” I said, my airway constricting.

He released me to tumble to the floor. “Our people are not being killed by the lycans?”

I shook my head, unable to answer.

Castus crouched in front of me. “These creatures are living in the swamps and biting and killing vampires and lycans?”

I merely nodded.

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