Page 21 of Midnight Secrets

Lucrezia Black had activated something in me from the moment she looked at me in that restaurant. She didn’t see the man the rest of the world knew, her eyes had bored deep into me and searched for the pitiful husk that resided under an Armani suit and Rolex watch.

She made my cold, black heart feel for the first time in too long. That could either end in ecstasy or in unmitigated disaster.

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Chapter Nine

Lucrezia

I sat in my special reading nook Papa had created in the hall window that overlooked the garden. My pencils were in the velvet pouch beside me and my sketchpad was inside the cover of the book I was pretending to read. The light here was better than anywhere else in the house and I tended to take inspiration for my designs from nature.

The sound of motorbike engines sounded on the driveway outside the house. My back straightened and every muscle in my body stilled. There was only one person who visited here on motorbikes. My cousin Xavier and his friends.

Ash.

For the past two weeks, I’d checked my phone about twenty times a day to see if he messaged me. It had become a daily ritual, and my heart sped up every time an alert sounded on my phone. I’d envisaged his phone being stolen or damaged or Ash being injured.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the three black bikes travelling up the last part of the driveway. Three meant Ash was here. My heart leapt into my throat and my mouth dried.

Papa moved through the entrance hall and flung the doors open. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to because my legs felt weak. The latest design in my book had been a pair of cufflinks for Ash to wear to the IJS with me. There seemed little point me wearing jewellery without him adorned with a matching piece.

Male voices sounded outside and my stomach tightened as footsteps approached. Papa strode in with his arm around Xavier, gesturing as he spoke. Xavier smiled and waved at me, and my hand lifted in greeting. Jordan wandered in and winked at me as he followed. It was the last man who had my complete attention. Ash closed the door behind him, his eyes finding and locking with mine.

I forgot how to breathe.

There was a magnetism to him that made me want to crawl to him on my knees. He commanded me without even saying a word. I didn’t know what I expected, but him pursing his lips and walking away as if I didn’t exist wasn’t it. I watched his retreating figure and felt loss to the depths of my soul. As soon as they had disappeared with Papa, I gathered my book and pencils in my trembling hands and crept up the stairs to hide in my room the same way I had done in the past.

Something inside me fractured at his indifference, a vital part of me that helped me to breathe. I sat on the floor beside the patio doors to my balcony with my knees tucked against my chest, tears streaming down my chest.

One day. He had given me attention for one day and this was the result. I rested my chin on my knees and slowly counted to one hundred. Every number signified a brick in the wall around me, every breath cemented them in place. I was my papa’s daughter and no one would ever break me. Even when I heard male voices outside about an hour later, I stayed here in my quiet place.

Two raps at the door signalled Madison coming in. “You okay?” She stared down at me sitting in the place I tended to go to when I needed to think. She was the only person who knew how I’d felt about Ash, and I hadn’t waited to share the story about what had happened in London with her, minus the moments that he stole my sanity. Those were mine alone to savour, but she knew how I felt.

I shook my head, a tear escaping.

“Why can I not just get him out of my system?” I asked, leaning my head back against the wall. “Catarina would stamp all over him in her Louboutin heels and wipe her feet on the way out.”

Madison sat beside me and took my hand in hers. “Catarina is a different person to you. One day she will find a man who will tame her, but until that day, she is your papa’s problem.”

“I feel useless, Madison. Any other girl my age knows about men and life. I live in a fortress with no escape route. I have zero skills with flirting, even less when it comes to intimacy. Sometimes, I feel like I will never leave this life.”

She nudged me with her shoulder. “Your mama always said that she knew from the moment she saw your papa that he was the one she would marry. Maybe her daughters will be the same? You don’t need to kiss a chorus of frogs to find Prince Charming. Sometimes he’s right under your nose all along.”

I rested my head on her shoulder. “Did you ever find Prince Charming?”

Her shoulders lifted and fell as she sighed. “So long ago that the memory of his laugh has begun to fade. We were teenagers when we met and I fell hard and fast. Sometimes first love is the truest.”

“What happened?” I squeezed her hand.

“He was killed in a motorbike crash on a country road. The car never saw him and pulled out of a side road.”

“Madison!” I spun to grab her in a hug.

“He had barely an injury on him, just a broken neck.” She gave me a shaky smile. “But the moral of this story is that just because Ash is the first man you fell for doesn’t mean that he isn’t the right one for you. Instead of hiding in here, you need to remember that you are a strong and powerful woman who has created her own business. He would be lucky for you to even give him a second look.”

A smile curved my lips because over the years Madison claimed the mothering role in my life. She used to put plasters on my knees when I fell off my bike or out of a tree, she plaited my hair for school, and she listened when I needed someone to talk to.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

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