Page 105 of Never In My Wildest Dreams

Boys would ghost her.

She wouldn’t get chosen for a team or a play.

Until this moment, he’d never really thought about what it’d been like for his parents to raise him, the constant fear they’d lived with over his survival.

He didn’t know what to do, how he could be there for her. He just didn’t know. “Let’s get you that coffee.” He let go of her to stand up, but Stevie clung to him, so he settled her on his hip. Together, they headed inside the pantry to gather the ingredients.

When they came back out, he found Hellcat at the stove with the milk and measuring cups. “Why did this little girl know where the cocoa was?” he teased.

“I told you. I make everything myself now.” She tipped her head to the dining room. “Except when I’ve got a house full of guests.”

“Does that happen often?” He poured the milk into the pan.

“Nope.” She measured the cocoa powder and tipped it in while stirring with a whisk. “I’m not sure anyone wants to drive out this far—especially in winter—so, we have holidays at my dad’s. That’s why I bought a place in town. I figured when she’s in school, it’ll be easier for playdates and after-school activities.”

“That’s smart.”

“Yeah. So…” She glanced over her shoulder. “Noa might’ve figured it out.”

“I guess it’s inevitable.”

“It might be better to tell people in advance. I don’t want anyone blurting it out and confusing her.” She tipped her chin toward their daughter. “Especially if you’re only here through Sunday.”

“I’m staying.” Once the idea popped out of his mouth, he knew it was the right thing to do.

“You mean for all five days?”

He nodded. “I can’t get news like this and then just leave.” At the thought of postponing the trip to Ontario, a jagged blade of fear cut through him—every second he wasn’t in touch with the Marchaud family, another agent gained the advantage.

But what choice did he have? Stevie had jumped to the top of his list of priorities.

He felt the weight of the child in his arms, the clutch of her fist in his shirt. “But also, I’m staying in her life. I don’t know what that looks like yet, but I’m not going anywhere.”

The tug-of-war between hope and fear played across Hellcat’s pretty features.

He wanted to reassure her, but he wouldn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.

Stevie patted his cheek to get his attention. “Mashmallows?”

“I’ll get them, sweetheart.” And with that, Hellcat walked away.

It was only her absence that made him understand the wholeness he’d felt when it was the three of them. He didn’t understand any of this. How—out of nowhere, the landscape of a man’s life could change so completely.

Hellcat came back with the open bag and dropped one marshmallow into the red cup. “Here you go.”

“Fank you, Mommy.”

“You’re welcome, baby girl.”

“I wish I could give you a better answer,” he began.

But she shook her head. “You did. You gave me the best I could ask for. I was afraid you’d leave and never look back.” She brushed her hand across her daughter’s cheek. “She’s precious, this girl. I don’t want her hurt. It’s like we’re born with these perfect souls, and then, every chip and crack changes us.”

“Makes us stronger.”

“Ideally. But look at us.” She glanced at the table with an affectionate smile. “We’re all hot messes.”

“And we found each other, so we’re a house of hot messes.”

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