Page 113 of Never In My Wildest Dreams

“You should see your eyes right now, the way you light up when you talk about it. Sounds like you know exactly what you should be doing.”

“I think so.” She sounded hesitant.

“But?” What was he missing?

“I want it to be more than a retreat where bands come to work on their songs. I wouldn’t charge them for being here, but I’d like them to pay it forward. I’d like to have scholarships for artists who don’t have the money or the support to pursue their dreams.”

“And they’d get private lessons from successful musicians.”

She nodded. “Is that crazy? I haven’t thought it through, and please don’t tell anyone?—”

He rushed into the room. “It’s fucking brilliant. You’re brilliant.” Driven by that familiar connection between them, he reached for her.

But she pulled away, her eyes hardened.

And he felt like crap. It was time to talk to her. “I came here looking for you so I could apologize.”

“For what?” Her tone was guarded.

“I bailed on you this morning, and that was a shitty thing to do.”

She waved him away. “You needed to check on a client, and today was a good day to do it. Besides, I have plenty of help, and the guests don’t come till tomorrow.”

“No. Don’t give me a pass.” Now, he had her attention. “Yes, it was work, and yes, it felt important at the time, but I’ve had seven hours on an airplane to think, and I know I could’ve found another way to meet with him. The truth is… This morning with you, in that cabin…it was good.” They’d played and laughed, just like that Christmas together. “And it made me uncomfortable. I haven’t wrapped my head around this situation yet.”

“Thissituation? Do you mean your daughter? Stevie is not a situation.”

He held up both hands. “I know. But this is complicated. You’re not some hookup to me. You’re the woman I fell hard for in the cabin.”

“Not too hard if you could sneak off like that.”

“I left a note.”

She looked at him like he was a moron. “Do you think for one second I would’ve left a note after what we shared? You should’ve woken me up and said goodbye, and you know it. That note was a nod to your conscience. ‘See, I did the right thing.’ Well, to a woman who’d given you her whole self, that was not even close to the right thing. I didn’t expect a ring, and I understood we’d never see each other again, but?—”

“Well, I wasn’t, okay? I wasn’t fine with never seeing you again. I was ready to see if we could make it work. But then Beau sent you that text message, and I knew it was the wrong timing for both of us. And that note was a link—a way for you to contact me if you didn’t reconcile with your ex.”

“Really? Because that’s not what it said. And guess what? I can’t read between the lines. If you felt something as big as that, you should’ve communicated it.” Color stained her cheeks, and her eyes glistened. “You have no idea how much it would’ve mattered.”

He wished he could hold her. He wished… he would’ve done a lot of things differently. “I felt it then, and I’m feeling it now. And it scares me, okay? And so, when I got that text message this morning, I ran. Because being in that cabin, playing that game with the Velcro…” He made a circular motion around his head. “It stirred it all up again. You and me…and it just?—”

“Feels right.” She gazed up at him with a searching expression. As if she looked to him for a solution.

But that was the point: he didn’t have one. “I live in New York.”

Her features fell. “And we’re never going to be a happy little family.”

Since he couldn’t say the words out loud, all he could do was nod.

“A part of me wishes we could give that to Stevie.” She shrugged. “It just makes me so sad that she doesn’t get a daddy.”

“Now, hang on. I said I’m not going anywhere. I’m her father, and I take that seriously.”

“She doesn’t need a note from you, Slick. Take it from a woman who grew up believing she had a dad who didn’t want to be in her life.”

“But I’m going to be in her life. I want to.”

“Oh, come on. Let’s face it. You never set your phone down. You said yourself you travel half the year. I get that you’ll step up and be a father, but you know as well as I do, she’s not going to have the kind of dad you had.”

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