Page 116 of Never In My Wildest Dreams

“Of course, I do. You think I don’t remember what it was like? No one has ever made me feel the way you do. I’ve never been so real, so exactly myself. I want you, Booker Hayes.” The wildness in her eyes flamed out. “But I can’t have you.”

Fuck. He wanted to challenge her—fight for them—but she wasn’t done.

“Not until you figure things out with Stevie. You live in New York. It was one thing in the cabin when I knew we wouldn’t see each other again, but do you honestly think it’ll go well if we give into this attraction and then…” She touched the fingertips of each hand together and then made an exploding motion. “I’m not built to have sex and then pretend like it never happened when you leave four days from now. And I certainly can’t handle having sex when you come to town. Don’t you get it? I’m a forever woman. When I give my heart, I go all-in. And you’re not that kind of man.”

Slowly, he stood. “Remember what you told me in the cabin? You said everything would change when I met the right woman. Well, you were right. I’ve met her. Hellcat, I want to go all-in with you.”

Her features softened. “Do you know what it even means? It means we live together. We raise Stevie together. It’s not you calling a couple of times a week. We’re not a stop on your way to Michigan. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Reality crashed over him. She was right. Everything she said…she was right. “I’m not in a position to leave my agency right now.”

“I’m not asking you to. I will never ask you to do something like that.”

“There are four of us, and we signed an ironclad contract because we anticipated these kinds of life changes. People getting married, having kids…needing to move out of the city. So, we agreed that for seven years, we have to live in New York and work out of the office.”

Her shoulders lowered in resignation. “I understand.” She motioned to his dinner. “I’ll let you finish.”

“Don’t go. Let’s…finish talking about our plans.”

“We have a big day tomorrow, and I’m beat. We’ll talk in the morning.”

As she walked away from him, his mind scrambled to fix the situation.

He could talk to his partners, explain the situation. Work remotely.

But how would that fix anything? He would still be on the road more often than he was here. He’d still take calls all night long.

He had to face the truth. His career was all-consuming.

It didn’t leave much for Hellcat and Stevie.

And he didn’t know what to do about that.

The guests were arriving in the morning, and he needed to be rested.

But he was wired, his mind cycling through a playlist of issues.

What he wanted to give Stevie and Hellcat but couldn’t.

About having all the guys here. With their wives and children. He’d get to hear their inside jokes and stories from a lifetime of being friends—the last thirteen of which didn’t include him.

And about his boss’s treachery. He replayed his conversation with Mr. Marchaud a dozen times.

“We appreciate everything you’ve done for our son, but we have to think about his future, and we think he’ll be best served by a more established agency.”

The man had given him all of ten minutes to pitch his firm—not just their clients but their ethics. And no, he hadn’t bad-mouthed his former boss. He’d win the hockey player based on his ability, not on shit-talking Elite.

His phone kept pinging, so he finally turned it off. He couldn’t talk out one side of his mouth about wanting to be in their lives while making no changes to the way he ran his business. He’d arranged time off for the wedding, so he would be fully present for it. He’d check his phone in the morning and at night.

Maybe small changes would lead to bigger ones.

One step at a time.

But mostly what kept him up was that he ached for Hellcat. For one brief moment, when he’d had her in his arms, the bright light of hope burned in his heart. He’d thought they could be together. That she felt the same way.

He hadn’t anticipated the giant obstacle she’d tossed in front of him. She didn’t want a friends-with-benefits relationship. Of course, he hadn’t thought of it like that, but he could see it from her perspective. The last thing she needed was to wonder who he was spending time with, wait for the phone to ring, or see pictures of him on social media and hold them up against the itinerary he’d given her.

She’d been betrayed. She needed someone she could count on.

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