Page 118 of Never In My Wildest Dreams

He didn’t even hesitate. “It’s both.”

“Whoa.” George sounded floored. “You’re really into her.”

“It’s more than beingintoher. It’s…” Somehow, articulating his feelings to George before he talked to Hellcat seemed wrong. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know if I don’t give it my all, then I’ll never get a shot at something this good again.”

“Dammit, Booker.” George let out a rough breath. “You were the one who said we barely stood a chance to make it in the first place, that we’re doomed if we don’t commit one-hundred-percent.”

“I said that before I understood what Lorelei and Stevie mean to me.”

“Yeah, yeah. You know I can’t argue when there’s a kid involved. Okay. Bring it up at the next meeting.”

“It’s too far off. I need to prove to her I’m all-in. So, I’m going to call for an emergency meeting. I just need to know if you’ll stand with me.”

“Booker, you don’t even have to ask. I will always stand with you.”

He let out a breath of total relief.

“Unless we’re talking about bringing a cat into the office as a mascot,” George said. “I hate cats. Same for tuna fish. The day you ask me to break the ban on allowing tuna in the office, I will sit my ass down.”

He chuckled. “Understood.”

“So, yeah. Get everyone on a conference call and make your pitch. I’ll vote in your favor.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”

“You got it. Talk later.”

“Later.” He disconnected and turned to the balcony. He honestly didn’t know how the vote would go. He’d chosen to work with these guys specifically because the four of them were equally driven and put work first. He wouldn’t have joined if any of them had a different mindset. If they prioritized family life over building the agency, he?—

“You want to go all-in?” Hellcat’s voice sent a shockwave through him.

She’d heard his conversation. He scrambled to think what else he’d said. “Yes.”

“WhatdoStevie and I mean to you?”

Normally, he could read her. But just then, as she stood in the doorway wearing pajama bottoms and an old concert T-shirt, she revealed nothing.

But that’s because she doesn’t trust you.

You have to earn it. This moment mattered. It was the first step.Start with Stevie. “I know if I go back to New York, if I don’t make any changes, I’ll be marginalized in her life. I’ll be an idea of a father.”

She nodded.

“I can’t do that. I can’t live in the world knowing I have a daughter and not be her dad.”

“You say this right now because you just found out. But once you’re back at work, maybe you won’t think about her much at all. You have to understand how fragile a child’s ego is. Her dad’s love gives her wings. If she thinks he doesn’t like her—and trust me, if your dad’s not actively involved in your life, that’s the message a child gets—she’ll spend her life believing she’s not loveable.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“You told me what your career’s like. You said it doesn’t have room for a wife and children. That means she’ll become an obligation. I can’t stand the idea of her looking into your eyes and feeling unwanted.” She was her daughter’s fiercest protector—there was no doubt about it. But she was also a woman who’d been deeply hurt.

He wanted to make promises, wanted to reassure her, but he couldn’t see the future. He didn’t know what parenting would look like from two thousand miles away. “I need time to figure things out, but I hear you. I don’t want that for her, either.”

Her frown told him she didn’t like that. But he needed to be truthful. That was how trust was built. He moved closer, needing to bridge the distance. “The reason I’m still awake is because my mind won’t shut down. I keep seeing her first day of kindergarten. Her first skate. Her first home run. Starring in the school play. And I’m thinking about myself as the dad whose assistant orders flowers, who drops a grand on some over-the-top birthday present. The dad who visits her once a month or spends every other Christmas with her. A week in the summer. But none of it feels right.”

“No, it sounds awful for all of us.” She sounded defeated. “I can tell you from experience that every bouquet, every card, every expensive birthday present will just be a reminder that you don’t care enough to show up.”

That was it. He was done with the distance. In three steps, he had a grip on her arms. “I won’t do that to her. I don’twantto do that.” Couldn’t she see the sincerity in his eyes? Hear it in his voice? He didn’t know how to get through to her.

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