Page 119 of Never In My Wildest Dreams

“You say that now, but once you go back to New York?—”

“I’ve already done that, remember? I left the cabin and went back to my life in the city. And even through all the chaos of quitting my job and starting my own agency, not once did I forget about you. Look at me, Hellcat. After being back here with you for two days, I’m already setting up a meeting with my partners to try and change the terms of our agreement.”

“I know.” She pulled away. “It’s just…I know you.”

What the hell did that mean? “Then you know I’m a man of my word.”

“But it’s not words we want from you. Can’t you see that?”

No, he couldn’t. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.” What was he missing?

“I want your heart.”

“You have it, Hellcat.” And she did. He knew it without a doubt. “You have my whole heart.”

“What does that mean when your heart’s got a moat and razor wire around it? You have to know you put people in categories. It’s how you try to control your feelings. And I’m telling you, Stevie’s going to know she’s in the daughter box.”

“You’re not making sense right now. Sheismy daughter.”

She shook her head in frustration. “Put it this way. Does Ginty know you just found out you’re a dad?”

“No. It’s his wedding. Not to mention, he’s a client.”

“That’s my point right there. Ginty’s afriend, Slick. A friend would be so angry you waited to tell him something this important. But you’re stuck back in high school when you found out you didn’t mean as much to those guys as they did to you. And I’m not blaming you—that would be awful. And then, your family—the core foundation of your life—turned out to be a lie. So, yes, you absolutely protect your heart. You’re afraid of investing completely in anything because it might just be a fantasy.”

What could he say? It all rang true.

“And it’s sad because you have the biggest heart of anyone I know.”

“You just said I can’t feel my heart.”

“Oh, you feel it all right. You just protect it. And that’s what makes you dangerous.”

“Oh, now, I’mdangerous?”

“To me and Stevie, yes. You know how you walked out on me?—”

“I left a note.” He was practically shouting now.

“No, I know that. But the reason you could leave like that was because you’d put me in a box. Woman I’m Never Going To See Again. Do you see how it protects you? If you had feelings for me, leaving would hurt. But if I’m someone you’re not going to see again, it’s no big deal.”

“I can see what you’re saying. But I’m not holding anything back with you. I’m not dangerous.”

“Really? You have no idea what that time with you meant to me. Even though I was squatting in your home, you would’ve slept on the couch in below-freezing weather. You gave me Christmas. You could’ve ignored me and smoked a cigar in front of the fire like you’d planned. You took such good care of me—and the way you touched me…”

“It was real, Hellcat. All of it was real.”

“Exactly. I believed we had something special. So, when you left without saying goodbye, it hurt. So deeply. It seemed like you were unaffected. That I was in it alone. And until you see what I’m talking about, you’re going to keep doing it. You’re going to give me and Stevie that big, beautiful heart, we’re going to fall madly in love with you, and then, something will happen. And you’ll walk away like we were nothing but acquaintances.” She waved a hand at him in frustration. “Forget it. I’ll let you get some sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep.” He wasn’t sure if he sounded belligerent or petulant. Probably a mix.

“Well, honestly, Slick, I don’t know what else I can say to make you understand.”

He strode over to her and closed the door so no one would hear them. Then, he caged her in against the wall. “I’m not your ex.”

“I know that.” She let out a shaky breath.

“I’m not your mother.”

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