Page 18 of Never In My Wildest Dreams

“Pussies. Vaginas.”

“Oh, my God.”

“Hey, they’reyoursweats.”

“You think I’d buy clothing with vaginas on them?” She threw back the covers and flicked on the flashlight, stretching out the fabric to get a better view of the deep purple tear-shaped pattern. “That’s not—”Wait. Was it? “No, it’s just a pretty design.”

He tapped the bits of green. “Then how do you explain the leaves?”

“Those are not leaves.” But once her perspective shifted, she saw the pattern in a whole new way. “Oh. Wow. They’re figs.”

“No shit.”

“Why did I buy sweatpants with figs on them?”

“That’s a question only you can answer.”

Laughing, she flopped back down. “My mind is blown.”

“It’s not that weird. It’s probably some botanical line.”

“No, not because of that.”

“What then?” he asked.

“Because you’ve never seen a pussy before.”

He barked out a laugh. “What?”

“If you think the inside of a fig looks like a pussy, then you’ve obviously never been down there before.” She was having fun, so she pushed it a little. “Look, you work a lot. Your personality’s a little, you know, flat. It’s okay if you’re a virgin.”

He chuckled. “Two things. First, my bedroom skills are on point, and second, I’m trying to get you comfortable enough that you’ll fall asleep. A conversation about sex is going to have the opposite effect.”

“You brought it up.”

“In a different context. Hey, have you been using my new grill? I just had it delivered in June. Haven’t used it yet, but it’s dope.”

“Oh, okay. We’re closing out the vagina talk. Got it.” She turned off the flashlight and set it on the nightstand before sliding under the covers again. “The listing said the grill was off-limits, so I assumed it might be considered a fire hazard. Besides, I wouldn’t even know how to use it.”

“I can show you tomorrow.”

Huh. She thought he’d make some crack about how it was so simple a five-year-old could do it. She hadn’t expected such patience. Kindness. “That’s nice of you, but since I’m leaving tomorrow…” If they still didn’t have Wi-Fi, she wouldn’t be able to get the address of the place she’d actually rented. She’d have to go back to her dad’s.

“We’ll see how it looks in the morning.”

“Well, how long can a storm last? It’ll pass over.” Her dad would come and get her. She’d learned that about him.

“Doesn’t work like that out here. Resources go to Calamity and Wild Wolff Village. The mountains get dug out last.”

“What’re you talking about? How long could it take?” Not only didn’t he want her here, but how long could she keep her identity hidden?

“No idea. Could be as long as a week.”

“Of us snowed in together?” Alarm rang through her body. “What will we do for food?”

“I brought plenty.”

“Oh, God.”Of course.“You’re spending Christmas here.” What had she been thinking?

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