Page 55 of Never In My Wildest Dreams

“Yeah, but it’s a choice. I know I can’t give a wife and kids enough time. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“Oh, come on. Love doesn’t work like that. It isn’t convenient. Feelings can’t be locked in a compartment until we’re ready for them. Believe me, if you’d met the right woman, you’d have found a way to make time for her.”

“That’s fair. Okay.” He nodded. “I haven’t found the right one.”

“Well, of course, you haven’t. You walk into the bar, skimming over all the women, looking for the one who wants to toot it and boot it.”

He snickered. “Toot it and boot it?”

“You know, a pump and dump.” She thought about that one. “That’s gross. Let’s just say you’re looking for a drive-by.”

“A smash and trash,” he agreed.

Now, they were laughing. “A Waikiki sneaky between the cheeky.”

“What the fuck is that?” he asked.

“It’s from the movie50 First Dates.”

“Never seen it. But I do like the bonus waffle.”

She was cracking up. “I have no idea what that means.”

“It’s a parting gift. Instead of kicking her out, you hand her a waffle.”

“A waffle?” She was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. “You hand her a frozen waffle? Do you at least toast it first?”

“Of course.”

“What if she prefers a Pop-Tart? Or a toaster pastry?”

“I’d give her a cinnamon roll if she’d just get out of my house.”

“You’re so mean. And I’m naïve enough to be the woman who takes the waffle and goes, ‘Do you have syrup?’ I wouldn’t have a single clue it was my parting gift.’”

Laughter erupted out of him. “I’d put the bottle in a bag?—”

“Some plastic cutlery?—”

“And a napkin.”

“I would die. I would literally die of shame. This dating world is not for me. Are men really that mean?”

“I don’t know. I’m not like that.” He had a thoughtful expression. “Actually, yes. I do know guys who’ve done that.”

“I don’t know which is worse, men who cheat or men who pump and dump and hand you a waffle. Relationships are hard and?—”

“You can’t control them.” He seemed surprised at what came out of his mouth. But after a moment, he settled into it with a look that said,I stand by that.

“That’s it right there, isn’t it?” It was so clear to her. “I want to be in a relationship. I love being in love. I’m born to be monogamous.”

But I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust again.

So, where does that leave me?

ChapterEleven

“If you’ve only beenwith one man, how do you know?” Slick asked.

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