Page 89 of Never In My Wildest Dreams

He’d said the same thing in the cabin. He didn’t want kids.

Was it possible he’d walk away?

Why did that hurt just as much? She didn’t want Stevie growing up with a father who didn’t want her. What would that do to her?

“Stop.” Her dad came to her, enfolding her in his arms. “You’re making up scenarios in your head. Right now, none of them are real.”

“You’re right.” She breathed in his mountain man scent—pine and woodsmoke, a hint of spicy soap.

“Just know, we’re in this with you,” he said.

She fell against him, letting the fear wash over her because she knew her dad could take it. He’d stand with her through anything.

Margot joined them, her hand on Lorelei’s back. “We’ll take it one step at a time. There’s absolutely no point in jumping ahead to the what-ifs. It won’t get us anywhere. First, you have to tell him.”

When she’d figured out he’d left, she’d cursed him out for being a coward. Was he so afraid of their connection that he’d just snuck out the door? Then she’d wondered if something terrible had happened. Maybe he’d gotten bad news. Finally, she’d made peace with it—he’d given her so much in such a short amount of time.

“In any event, Stevie’s not even two yet,” her dad said. “No court is going to give him physical custody of a toddler who doesn’t even know him.”

She pulled away. “That’s true.” And it did make her feel better.

“So, whatever happens, it won’t be for a while,” her dad said. “If he does want to be involved, he’ll have to come here to visit.”

“That makes me feel better.” Lorelei didn’t know much about Slick, but she knew he had a strong sense of integrity. He’d do the right thing. Which meant… “What if, when she’s older, she wants to spend Christmas with him? What if he tries to buy her love with big presents?” So far, her little girl had grown up playing with wooden spoons and metal bowls, chasing dust motes in the conservatory, and sculpting bread dough. “What if he gets her a car for her sixteenth birthday? A condo when she goes to college? What if she prefers him because he spoils her?”

“All right, get it out.” Margot made a gimme motion. “All your fears and worries. Let them go.”

Yeah, let’s do that. Because they were coming fast and hard. “What if he gets married, and his wife wants to be a mother? What if they have another child?” These were all possibilities she’d considered as she’d nursed late at night or drove long distances. “They might want Stevie, you know? Who wouldn’t want her? She’s feisty and bold and fearless. He’s going to fall in love with her, and he’s going to want to spend time with her.”

“You said he’s busy,” Margot said. “He works all the time”

“Yes. Which makes it even worse. He’ll want to do the right thing and be a father, but he’ll be too busy to deal with a child, so he’ll hire a nanny, and then Stevie will be left all alone in the city. What if she misses me and is too young to understand that I didn’t send her away, that I actually want to be with her more than anyone else on the planet?” She looked between them. “No offense.”

“None taken.” Her dad gave a soft grin, but the skin around his eyes crinkled with worry.

“What else could happen?” Margot asked.

“She could love her dad more than me and choose to live in New York.”

“You’re right,” Margot said. “That is a possibility. But you know what else is? She could also love this life you’ve made for her so much that she never wants to leave. She’ll have grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins.” She gestured out the window. “And horses and goats and chickens and?—”

“Archery and snowboarding and dirt biking,” her dad said. “And there’s another possibility. He could decide to co-parent with you and move here.”

“There are no sports agencies in Calamity, but I get what you’re saying. There are a million possibilities, and I’m filling my head with the worst ones.” She sighed. “Well, it worked, Margot. You drained me of all my fears.”

“You feel better?” Margot asked.

“Yeah. I’ll just have to take it one step at a time.”

“I know it’s hard.” Margot rubbed Lorelei’s arm. “But one thing you have to remember, if he’s a good man, he’ll want the best for his daughter.”

And he was a good man. She believed that. “Okay. I’ll go tell him.” Lorelei headed for the door, and her parents followed.

“Now?” her dad asked.

She knew he was thinking about the wedding. “It’ll be worse if I wait.” She stepped outside.

The sun hovered right at the summit, leaving enough light to make her way back to the main house. The trees cast shadows, and a horse whinnied in the distance. She hadn’t thought to put on a sweater, so she rubbed her arms against the chill.

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