Page 75 of When You Were Mine

It was so hot, so fiery, she’d melted into him. For those magical seconds, time stopped. Nothing separated them—not mind, body, or soul.

“Well, I mean, I’m glad. I’d hate for you to settle.” Amber’s voice sounded rough from sleep.

She’d called her sister in the dead of night to talk. She hadn’t even hesitated.And you know what?It was such a relief to be a sister—not a mom.

And that was the thing. She was so tired of carrying the weight of the world. Being a mom to her siblings, running a household for her dad, building a business so her family would be secure.

She knew she could rely on herself. Had proven it countless times. But…boy, being sheltered in Trevor’s arms had made her feel protected. Safe. She knew, without a doubt, if she’d stayed with him, he’d be in this bed with her.

And that could not happen.

Because she didn’t know him anymore. Sure, the chemistry was still there. But who wouldn’t be attracted to that man?

They’d had a good talk, and she’d learned a lot—but only the parts related to why he’d left her. Other than that, they’d lived a whole life apart. It was ridiculous to think those thirty years didn’t matter.

I’ve changed, I know that. He has too.They couldn’t just pick up where they’d left off.

Which was why she’d made a beeline for the elevators. “What is it about him though?” She poured lotion onto her palm.

“What do you mean?” Amber asked through a yawn.

“I’ve dated plenty of men. I got serious with a few. I was going tomarryJoel. But the way I feel about Trevor… I’ve never felt it for anyone else.”

“Oh, well. It’s probably easy to slip into the skin of an old relationship.”

“Right?”There you go.“That’s it exactly.” It was nothing more than that.

“Oh, I didn’t mean?—”

“You nailed it. That explains why I’m so comfortable with him. It’s like our teenage selves are talking to each other. But we’re not kids anymore. A whole lot of life has happened since then. We’re different people now.”

“What? No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Well, what did you mean?” She tapped the speaker button on her phone, so she could rub the lotion onto her face.

“That the essence of you both is still there. That’s why it’s so easy to slip right back into it. It happens with me and Jenna. Even though she moved away when I was a senior in high school, and we only get to talk a couple times a year, we still pick up right where we left off. There’s a real comfort to being around old friends.”

“Hey, I’m trying not to fall for him here, and you’re not helping.”

Her sister laughed. “You know, you can tell yourself anything you want, but the truth is in your feelings. How does it feel to be around Trevor?”

“It feels annoying, thanks for asking.” Because it was just as big and powerful as when they were kids. “And the worst part is, it makes me see how different I am around Joel.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just not completely myself with him. I never fully relax. I don’t let go.”

“Hon, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you let go. You’re the boss, the mother, the owner… As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been in badass mode. And I’m guessing that started after Mom died.”

She couldn’t deny the truth of that. “A therapist once told me when a parent dies, there’s a terrifying sense of helplessness. Who will feed you? Who will buy your clothes? Who’s going to protect you from those scary noises when you’re lying in bed alone in the dark? I wasn’t comfortable with that feeling, so I took control.”

“I can vouch for that.” Amber sounded like she was proud of her sister.

Which meant she didn’t get it. “He said I was the most tenacious person he’d ever met.” She paused. “And it wasn’t a compliment. It was no way to live, and I’d burn myself out. He said it was okay for me to let go. That I was fine. I was safe. And I didn’t need to hold on so tightly.”

“Yeah, I can see that. What’d he say about Trevor?”

“He said losing a parent leaves you with a ‘breathtaking loneliness.’ And that eight-year-old me understood she was alone now.” She flicked off the bathroom light and headed for the bed. “And you know what? That’s exactly how I felt when Trevor left me in that motel room.” After she’d curled up in the fetal position and bawled her eyes out, she’d walked out of that motel with a clear sense of,Well,I guess I’m on my own now.

---