Page 76 of When You Were Mine

She’d gone right back to the chapel and asked them to tear up the marriage license. Then, she’d driven back to Riverton, alternating between gut-wrenching bouts of crying and stern talks to herself about focusing on the future, on her family.

Had it been some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy? If Trevor viewed the world through the lens of his parents’ beliefs, maybe she’d seen it through the eyes of a little girl who’d lost her mom.

“And youwereon your own,” Amber said. “It’s true. That’s our fault.”

“Hey, there’s no blame here. You were five when Mom died.”

“Okay, but Dad let you raise us. He was relieved when you came home and took over. And I was so freaked out about my pregnancy that I handed everything over to you—including Bri. You were more of a mom to her in that first year than I was.”

“Because you were sixteen. You were a child.”

“Hon, you were twenty, and you stepped into the role without a hint of resentment. Which means I never had to experience any of the loneliness you just described because I had you. But who did you have?”

The question stirred up an ache deep inside. “For a long time, I had Trevor. Which was why it devastated me when he left. But at the same time, maybe I was expecting it. I mean, if my own mom abandoned me, wouldn’t everyone else do it too? Obviously, it wasn’t rational.”

“But it’s how a kid would internalize it. Well, look. You’re an adult now. You can see the world through a different lens.”

A sharp spike of hope set her heart racing. “If you think that future includes Trevor, you’re forgetting he’s engaged to another woman.”

“I wasn’t talking about him. I’m talking about you. We were kids when we lost Mom, but you’re a woman now, and you have a choice to make. You can guard your heart from the possibility that someone you love will leave you, or you can be brave and go for it. Come on, Jess. Don’t you think it’s time to let yourself love again?”

“Is that line from a Hallmark movie? Because I think I’ve heard it before.”

“I don’t know if it is, but it should be. That was good. I should write a romance novel.Oh. Even better, why don’t you live one? Go all second chance with your first love.”

“Maybe I will.” But she didn’t think so. She wouldn’t share his personal life with her sister, but Trevor was hardwired to make his happiness the very last priority.

It’d be easy to get back together with him. It’d be passionate and exciting and all those good things. But they were different people now. After a few days, they’d realize the only thing holding them together was memories.

“Not everyone leaves, Jess. You know how I know that? Because as soon as we get off the phone, I’m going to spoon with my husband who’s loved me since I was a twenty-one-year-old single mom, who stood by me through post-partum, who turned to me for help when his business failed and loved me even harder when I went through perimenopause early. So, I really, truly, hope you let go of your fears because, for me, personally, I’m not entirely sure what else in life is worth living for but love. Now, I’m going back to sleep. If you need me, I’m here.” Her sister disconnected.

Unnerved, Jess slid under the covers. Everything Amber said resonated, leaving Jess scared. Because, really, how did you change the way you looked at the world? Her fears ran deep. They were woven into the very fiber of her being. How did she extract them?

In any event, there was one thing she had to do. Not even considering the time, she scrolled through her recent calls and found Joel halfway down the page. Yeah, it had been that long since they’d spoken.That’s just sad. She hit his number.

It rang a few times before it connected, but instead of his voice, she heard laughter and conversation as he fumbled the phone. “Hello? Jess? Are you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m sorry to bother you.”

“No, no. It’s fine. What’s wrong? Are you okay? Hang on. Let me go somewhere quiet.”

“Joel, slow down. I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

The noises faded. “Okay, I’m in my room. How’s it going? Everything good?”

“It’s been interesting.” He didn’t even know she was in Iceland. “How are things going with your family? We haven’t talked at all since you left.” Saying it out loud to her fiancé highlighted how messed up it was.

“They’re bad. My daughter’s a wreck. Her jerk of a husband’s had a girlfriend for six months—that we know of—and yet, he’s still blowing up Ashley’s phone because she dared to move out.”

“She must be devastated.”

“We’re not letting her be. We’ve engaged a top lawyer, and we’re putting her to work changing passwords, printing out bank statements, that kind of thing. Now is not the time for her to fall apart.”

“Well, it sounds like you and your ex have a good handle on this.” She hesitated to offer advice, given he’d made it clear it wasn’t her family. But then again, they were close enough to consider marriage. Why not speak her mind? “I just hope someone’s there for her emotionally.”

He laughed. “My ex and I aren’t really built that way, but yeah, I hear you. She’s got friends going all the way back to grade school, so she’s got plenty of people to talk to. What about you? All set for the gala?”

“Yes, everything’s on track. But I’m actually not at the resort. I’m in Iceland.”

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