Page 77 of Wild Card

“You wanted to know what happened between us—fuck it.” He tunneled a path through his hair, gripping the ends. “He fixed the hit. I don’t know how he did it…I threw slow and easy, but he hit it in a way that made it land in my solar plexus. Knocked the wind out of me, so bad I couldn’t breathe. In the commotion, when I was on the ground, he stuck his cleat through my pitching hand.”

His eyes were wild as he explained. Mine watered in response.

“I wanted to take from him what he took from me. Before the night we met, I learned that he was injured and wouldn’t last long after his first contract if he even landed that. My uncle found out and knew he’d be looking for a different payout. Elias somehow found this opportunity by marrying into the Shaw fortune. I just wanted to mess with it, maybe ruin it, but I’m not a saint. I didn’t have good intentions.” He brought his hand to his head and began rubbing the stress out of his temple.

I wanted to say something, but my mouth had gone dry. What did I say to that? I finally knew his story, and now I wanted to throw up.

He flicked his eyes to me, his anger simmering lower as he stepped closer to me. “But…then you came along, and from the first time I saw you, I knew you were meant for me. You were stuck on repeat in my head for days. That’s why I was so pissed when I saw you in that parking lot, because I assumed you were leaving your boyfriend’s house. I couldn’t stop, so I pushed harder for the Taylor thing, and there you were again, in my life, and I was already so taken with you, I just couldn’t keep doing what I was doing. But…if you’re with him, Mallory…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I can’t fucking breathe at the thought of it. Hate me.” He slapped at his chest. “Hate me until the day you die if you want, but don’t be with him. I can’t see you with him.”

I felt his desperation, the heat in his words warming me, smothering me.

It was my turn to shake my head, but I felt tears begging to fall free as well. I wanted to shout at him, scream at him so he understood, but I knew he wouldn’t. I understood that Decker needed revenge in the only way he knew how to get it, and that was through this fucked-up idea to sleep with Elias’s girl. I was just collateral damage…a hiccup in the process.

“Is this just about the guy you hate going after the girl you like? Because he’s just playing me, Decker. It’s not real.”

“Who the fuck said Ilikeyou? I believe the words I told you were that I was falling for you, which was a joke. I’m gone for you, Mallory—done for. There’s no one else for me. You can’t tell me you’re that desperate for attention.” He glared at me, his square jaw ticking.

“Are you fucking serious?!” I cried, ready to throw a book at his dumb, stupid face.

“Just…please.” He grabbed my wrist, roughly pressing our bodies together until his forehead kissed mine. His throat bobbed while tears clouded his eyes. “Not him, baby. He’s dangerous.”

I pushed back the emotions clogging my chest. I needed clarity. He’d confessed so much, but I couldn’t get past the idea that this was about Elias diverting his attention to Decker’s favorite toy, and I was just collateral damage in their fucked-up dynamic.

“Right now, so are you,” I whispered.

I was two seconds from crying. If I cried, I would sob and fucking sob. I wouldn’t be able to stop. He was dangerous for my heart; he’d won me, and now he kept tossing me back in the pile like he was willing to bet it again.

Decker merely shook his head back and forth slowly, but I didn’t miss how he shuffled closer.

“I need you…”

“Don’t.” I moved away from him, toward the door, shaking my head. “You say you care, but it was only because Elias started talking to me in the first place that you decided to stop going after Taylor.” It was a buried truth that I had to pull out and examine, like a sliver that kept burrowing deeper and deeper. He’d completely ignored me, ghosted me, and while I may have hoped it wasn’t about Elias, after everything…I knew now.

“You can’t honestly think that,” he muttered into the slice of space between us.

I broke free of him, was nearly to the door with my hand on the latch when I felt a jolt in my back. A strong arm was a band of steel around my waist, pulling me flush with a heaving chest. Decker’s lips were warm, skimming the sensitive part of my ear, right next to my tattoo.

“You still don’t understand all the rules.”

My heart paced violently in my chest. I hated that I still wanted him, hated that I had ever since that first night. He had the moon in his chest, and my heart was the tide. We were connected and tied together while existing apart from one another. I felt panic flare as I realized it would always be like this. I’d always respond to him…need him.

“Which rules?” I breathed heavily, keeping my eyes lowered to the carpet.

With his left arm around me and his hand splayed against my stomach, he used his right hand to brush the hair away from my neck. He drew me impossibly closer until I could feel every hard line of his body pressed into mine, and…I bit my lip to hold in my groan when I felt his erection digging into my ass.

Decker didn’t answer; instead he skimmed the length of my neck with his nose, inhaling. Suddenly his hands were gripping either side of my hips, roughly holding me against him. My chest rose and fell in desperate bursts while his seemed perfectly steady behind me. I wanted to ask again, demand he answer, but I also wanted to know what he’d do next.

Fevered fingers drew the material of my dress up from my thighs, and I felt him barely ghost over my entrance. I tossed my head into his shoulder as he bunched the material at my waist, leaving me bare save for my lacy thong. I gasped at how quickly his fingers dug into the fabric along my hips, stretching it, and with one hard tug, they ripped.

“Hey!”

Decker spun me and slammed my back against the door. His eyes were still so wild, but there was something else there too, something unhinged…desperate.

“There are rules to the game, rules to what it is we’re doing. There are rules to all of this, and you don’t get to just walk away from me and decide you aren’t going to play anymore.”

His fingers came up to grip my jaw, and he angrily pressed his lips against mine in a punishing kiss. I loved the rawness to it. The anger, the rage. I bit down on his lip while he licked inside my mouth like he knew exactly how he’d taste me if he were to go to his knees before me. Once he released me, his lips stayed close to mine, his hands sliding down my hips and along my entrance. Within seconds he was already working me while his mouth devoured mine. I felt like I was shattering from the inside out from the burn of his kiss, the seal of his mouth on mine, the way his tongue delved in, begging me for things I didn’t fully understand…the way his fingers were buried inside me, owning me and demanding I come apart at only their bidding.

He leaned back scarcely an inch then roughly pulled the top of my dress down, exposing my bare breasts. His eyes devoured me as passionately as his fingers did when they were inside me.

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