Page 83 of Wild Card

She let out a sigh. “We became friends. That day you went with him to his mom’s…you never told me. I got worried and freaked out, ended up going to the bar he works at asking around about him. Someone gave me his number. I didn’t use it until you guys got into a fight. So, he called a few days ago, saying he needed to talk to you. He said you wouldn’t speak to him. He just needed a chance to explain himself, whatever that meant. I told him he could come as my date and then corner you and whatever.” She waved her hand.

My entire body vibrated with relief. How could I have been such an idiot?

God, I felt horrible that I’d agreed to the deal with Decker. I was a horrible person. I’d knowingly been with Decker, fully aware that he had intentions to seduce Taylor originally. I owed her for this.

“I thought he liked you. He wanted to try to date you…” I tried to salvage my shitty actions, but I couldn’t keep my eyes on her as I spoke. Instead they dipped to my lap.

“But you liked him, and he liked you…and I…was just a pawn.” Her voice softened while she finally seemed to connect the dots. “Was it a bet, or what was the deal with him? Don’t lie to me,” she said softly, tugging at the covers.

My throat felt tight. “He heard about Elias making a deal. He wanted revenge and thought if he got to you first, it would mess with the arrangement. I didn’t knowheknew about the arrangement, nor did I know about the arrangement myself up until about a week ago.”

She let out a sound of disbelief. “And let me guess…the original deal was that he offered to feed you info on the card game for the story after you struck out at the party?”

I raised my gaze, and it crashed with hers. Hurt swirled in her blue eyes.

“Tay, you were never a pawn…I didn’t know about the revenge until way after we’d made the deal. Initially he just said he needed a shot with you.”

“That’s exactly what I am—a pawn to Dad, a pawn to you…god, I’m so stupid.” She suddenly sat up, and I felt tears burn behind my eyes. “You know what’s crazy, Mal?” She paused near the bedroom door. “You’re the only person I’ve ever looked up to. I know you haven’t ever seen me as a real sister, and I know it’s bugged you that I call Charlie Dad, but from the first day I met you, I considered you my sister. I used to pretend we were blood sisters, and as I grew older, I would change it to us being chosen sisters.” Taylor swiped at her face as a few tears streaked down. “One time I sketched this tattoo we’d get, something only the two of us had. I know you’ve always looked out for me, and when this thing with Decker happened, I just…I kept thinking you’d finally found this guy you looked at like you looked at your newspaper place, and I thought it was special. You kept pushing him toward me, but I knew…” She choked down a sob. “I knew you wouldn’t let anyone use me.”

I blinked away tears, staring at my sister, and really seeing her as that—my sister. Not step, not obligated, but chosen. I wanted her. I wished she knew how much I wanted her, but I’d never told her.

“I honestly thought he wanted you, Tay.” My voice broke as my heart cracked open.

“What about when you fucked in the room right next to mine—did you think he wanted me then too?”

“I didn’t mean…” I sobbed, hating myself, hating what I’d done.

“You did, Mal. You knew exactly what you did with him, and what it would do to me. The only reason you didn’t feel bad was because I didn’t show any interest, and that’s because I’m a good sister and I love you. I’d never be with someone you wanted.”

“I wouldn’t do that either.” And I wouldn’t, not if it was real with her and Decker.

“I know that, but you didn’t listen to me about Elias, and you weren’t honest with me. It just hurts because you knew. You knew Decker was doing something where I was concerned, and you didn’t warn me. What if I had fallen for him? What if I had slept with him, Mal? Do you honestly think I’d risk losing you over a guy?” She made a choking sound while swiping at her cheeks.

Everything hurt. I hated this. I hated hurting her, and that I’d lied to her.

“I just wish you felt the same about me…wish one day you’d consider me your sister…a real one. Because you’ve always been my sister, Mallory, and I’ve always loved you like one.” She opened my door and walked out, snapping it closed before I could tell her I did love her like that.

I sobbed into the damn throw pillow, wishing I could turn back time. I would protect her, and myself…I’d do so much better if I could just go back. But I couldn’t. All I could do was move forward.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I zippedup my suitcase and tugged it off the bed.

Looking around my bedroom, I checked to make sure I had everything I needed: phone charger, clothes, shoes and shit from the closet. I’d sold my textbooks but kept my laptop; I’d need that for job hunting once I got back home.

Exiting my room, I ambled down the hall with my luggage.

“You’re all packed?” Marcus asked, nodding in my direction. He was grabbing a few pictures he’d put out of his family and tossing them into a cardboard box.

“You too?” I nodded and set my things by the door.

We’d both graduated the week before, and now we were moving out of our apartment. I was headed back home to Pinehurst, and Marcus was headed to San Diego with his girl to officially start on their local baseball team.

Marcus set down his box and hesitantly stood. I wouldn’t make him be awkward about asking for a hug, not when I was going to miss him as much as I knew I would.

Leaning forward, I opened my arms and swung them around my best friend.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Marcus muttered, slapping my back.

---