Page 88 of Wild Card

He took a step toward me, and I wanted to take one back, but he was like an animal—he’d see it as a challenge. So I stood my ground and let him crowd me.

Another step brought him directly in front of me. His hand grazed the back of mine, up my arm and into my hair. I closed my eyes, ignoring how foolish I was being by allowing him to touch me. I should have pushed him away, kicked him out, called Leo…because even if I believed he hadn’t known Elias was there that night and he wasn’t using me, even if I could overlook the fact that he had known I’d lose my story and about my sister being in an arranged marriage, I was on a different path now, and it wouldn’t be fair to lead him on.

His other hand was up, his warm fingers grazing along my collarbone, cupping my jaw. He tilted my head back and stared down at me.

“Tell me it’s not true.” Eyes the color of moss crawling along stones stared down into me. I had nowhere to retreat, and worse, I didn’t want to.

“What?” I wet my lips, tasting the lime flavor on them from the chips I’d devoured earlier. I could barely raise my voice above a whisper.

His eyes moved over my face, like he’d find his answer by merely looking at me. “You moving to New York, getting married…” He swallowed, shuddering as he finished. “Elias.”

My eyebrows dipped, confused. “The New York part is true.” I lowered my lashes as I confessed that the marriage was true too, but then I splayed my hands on his chest. “Not sure what the Elias thing is.” I scrunched my nose, curious as to what in the hell he was talking about.

A gentle tug on my hair had him tilting my head back. “The marriage to him…”

I snorted, trying to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge. “No. It’s some guy named Jeff. He was at that party, the one talking to me before Elias got there.” I shrugged, because talking about my future husband with the guy I loved was surreal.

A low rumble came from Decker’s chest, and with his closeness, I felt it in my bones. “Are you fucking kidding me, Mal?” His grip tightened on my face, and that raw possessiveness was making heat slice through my core.

“What do you want from me, Decker? You fucked me and got what you wanted from me. You even made sure my story wouldn’t run.” My hands turned to fists on his chest, clenching his shirt. I was torn between wanting to pull him closer and push him so far away from me that I had time to run away, all while my mind screamed at my lie. I knew he said he’d tried to talk to someone about it, but that lawyer’s words about how steps would have to be taken in order for me to have authority were stuck on repeat in my head. Either way, this was better. I had to push him away. He’d still used me, still lied.

“It wasn’t about that and you know it.”

I felt my nose burn and my damn chin wobble because I believed him, but now there was no way I’d ever have him, and that would never be fair to either of us.

I ducked my head, pulling free of his hold. “You need to leave.”

“You’re not marrying someone, Mallory, unless…” He pushed his hand into my hair, gripping the back of my neck, his voice hitching. “Unless it’s me.”

I lifted my eyes, catching the look in his. Even under the low lights, they gleamed bright and sure, and…I broke.

I blinked and tears slipped down my face. He couldn’t keep doing this to me.

“Decker, you used me. You’ve ghosted me, you’ve fucked me and lied to me…I’m not marrying you. I’m not anything with you. I’m moving to New York, I’m helping my dad with the branch, and I’m marrying a stranger.”

A painful sound emanated from somewhere inside him, and suddenly he let me go.

“You know we’re good together. You know we can get past this—why are you doing this?”

“That was my last shot at my dream. What you likely see as a harmless waste of time was my last chance, circling the drain. You knew I couldn’t write it, and yet you still toyed with me.” I deflected, trying to steer clear of why I was doing this, because I had to…because duty was better than heartbreak.

“I know, and I tried to fix it. I went to the city that day to try to ask for permission for something so you could publish it.”

“You said that already, and I still don’t know what the hell that means.” I tried crossing my arms, but he wouldn’t give me room to do it.

We were stuck in this vortex of pain and hurt, neither of us capable of breaking free and just ending it once and for all.

“It doesn’t matter. They wouldn’t budge anyway unless I…” He shook his head, swallowing hard. “But what I’m feeling for you, Mal…I don’t know what to do. I think I’m…” His eyes searched mine with an intensity I wouldn’t recover from.

I’d heard enough.

“Go, Decker.” I pushed him away as hard as I could. To make sure he left and we didn’t end up against my bedroom door; I grabbed my cell and dialed Leo.

I heard Decker make a pained sound behind me, felt his hand grip my hip and tug me back against his chest, but before he could say anything more, Leo opened the door and stalked in.

All muscle and neck, he glared down at Decker, but I was still facing away from him, so I couldn’t see his face. I moved, and Leo took my place.

“Mal, don’t do this. Let me fix this…just wait, I’m begging you!” Decker raised his voice over Leo grumbling for him to shut up. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I screwed up, and I…”