“Taylor!” I stomped up the stairs and threw open her door.
She was sitting on the floor, holding a piece of plastic. Tears streamed down her pink face, as if she’d been at it for a while. My heart pitched, lurching at what could be wrong.
I shut her door and rushed to her side.
“What happened?”
I eyed the plastic object pinned between her fingers and sucked in a sharp breath.
“I’ve been in denial…because I’m always careful, Mal. Always. I was on the pill too, but I must have done something wrong.”
I thought back to when she got sick, sending me in her place for the card game. She’d ended up taking antibiotics, which I knew could mess with birth control…but was that the right timing for all this?
She sniffed, swiping at her tears with her sleeve. She was in another massive sweater, making me realize it didn’t matter how, just that it was happening and she was hurting.
I tucked pieces of her hair away from her face, unsticking a few from the dried tears.
“I mean, I had a feeling…then I missed another period. That can’t be normal, right?” She tilted her head back, her watery blue eyes meeting mine.
I shook my head, too afraid to use my voice.
“Yeah, I thought so. So I took it…and I guess there’s no question.” She held up the pregnancy test in front of our faces. “I’m going to have a baby.” A loud hiccup left her chest as she crumpled into my side. “My mom is going to kill me. You don’t understand…there’s—he’s going to find out, and…fuck.” She cried, her words coming out garbled and confusing.
“Who’s going to find out? The father?” Who even was the father? I worried Taylor might not even know. I thought back to a few months ago, when she had entered into a self-destructive phase. There seemed to be a new guy at our house nearly every evening.
One time I had walked in on her riding some quarterback on our couch while wearing only his jersey. It was as if she just stopped caring or giving any fucks at all about me, or even herself.
“No, my dad…myrealdad. He’s going to find out.” She grabbed for a Kleenex tucked away in her shirt and blew her nose.
I scrunched my nose in confusion. “What about the father of the baby—does he know?”
“God, Mal. It was so embarrassing…I sent out a text to three potential guys who could be the dad. None of them have texted me back.”
Fuck.
“That’s okay. You don’t need the dad, but it’s still so early, Tay. You have to just take this a day at a time.” I softly rubbed her shoulder, trying to encourage her.
“I know…maybe after I get my degree, I can calm down and acclimate to the news.”
I wanted to be careful with this question…sensitive. “So…you think you’ll keep it then?”
She scoffed, her shoulders shaking. “Isn’t that the craziest fucking part? I’m already in love with the little thing, and I don’t know how that’s possible. But yeah, I’m keeping it. I’m scared to death, but I’m going to figure it out.”
“You will, and it’s going to be amazing whatever you choose.”
“Thanks, Mal. Sorry about shutting you out. I panicked.”
“It’s okay, I get it.”
“Do you know anyone who’s looking for a roommate next year?” She sniffed once more, swiping at the last of her tears.
“You’re seriously going back to school to finish your degree?”
“I said I was.” She turned to look at me, now sitting crisscross applesauce.
I tried to copy her, but mine looked less cross and more like applesauce. “I know, it’s just…I figured it might not work out if you were going to go through with the pregnancy.”
“I’m doing both.” Her eyes landed on me, full of determination.