Page 64 of King of Hearts

“You are.” His eyes sparked with something I couldn’t name. “I can tell.”

My face heated under his praise, and I loved the warm sensation moving through my chest. However, a shrug was my only response because I wasn’t sure how to respond to the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.

“What are your plans after she comes, after graduation?”

We walked to where the highchairs and little bouncer seats were on display. I fidgeted with buttons so he wouldn’t see how blank my expression must have turned.

I cleared my throat, trying to stay positive. “Not sure. Just getting through the delivery first…you know, and everything.” The deal, the getting free…the not leaving behind the people I loved just to be safe thing. “How about you?” I moved around until I could see his face in case he tried my tactic.

The shrug gave him away. “Just enjoying the moment for now.”

His smile settled on me soft and slow, light as a caressing feather. I returned it, letting our eyes feast, climb, and devour…we seemed to thrive in the in-between, where no words were needed. I knew what he wanted to say, and I knew why he wouldn’t say them. It was the same reason I turned away and gave a pained sigh.

Longing. We were both longing for what we wished could be but knew would never happen.

Chapter Twenty-Three

The weather had turned unusuallywarm, and while I was perfectly content with using the air conditioning in the house, the poor guys walking the perimeter asked for a break in the pool. Taylor thought it was a great idea and suggested we do a big pool day where there were nachos and margaritas for everyone. She went on and on about services we could call to cater both things and how we could even get a DJ for the party.

It was easy to see the old Taylor, the one who partied all four years of college and who had numerous flings and boyfriends at her beck and call. While that girl used to drive me insane, it was nice to see little glimpses of her every now and then, especially when she’d smile in my direction or run her hands over my shoulders while walking past me. It seemed like an absentminded movement, like she wasn’t even thinking about it.

Our previous evenings where we watched television together had resumed, which made me happier than I could afford to be. She’d bring down one of her books and settle in between my legs, even if I was watching hockey or sports. She wouldn’t even ask, and I realized I had started just opening my arms on instinct, expecting her to crawl into my lap. Occasionally she’d seem like she wanted to say something, or even do something…but she’d just settle for sitting in my lap and then snuggle into me. Other times, she’d come downstairs with wet hair, and I’d immediately start pulling her strands into a braid.

At night, by the time I got to my room, Taylor was fast asleep. She was usually snoring, and most of the time, I’d just stand there and watch her like a freak, but it was hard to believe she was with me…in my home, in my bed, curling under my arm at night and resting her face against my chest. I was already infatuated with her, but it had always been mixed with a little bit of resentment for what she’d done to me that day in her apartment when she said she thought I was Holden. I still hadn’t gotten over that shit. It still burned in ways I was too ashamed to talk about.

I considered that it was the reason I kept my hands to myself at night. It wasn’t easy, especially when Taylor would wake up in the middle of the night, horny and uncomfortable. She’d excuse herself to the bathroom, and I’d hear the shower turn on, or occasionally the bath. I knew she wanted me to touch her, like I did the day of her ultrasound, but I couldn’t help but realize the walls she’d begun to put up the minute we started driving home. She was always letting me in, only to push me out a second later…and I was doing the same back, just to feel safe. Even still, my resolve was beginning to crumble.

I tried to push those thoughts down as I walked out toward the patio. I could already hear the guys splashing and joking around with each other. Taylor must have been out there too since she wasn’t in the room when I came out of the closet after changing into my swim shorts. The sun nearly blinded me as I joined the twelve or so different guys jumping in and out of the pool. A small group of them were huddled toward the ledge, grouped around something…or someone. Most of them had drinks in their hands. One of them tipped his back, creating an opening in the circle, and that was where I found Taylor.

Seated on the ledge, kicking her legs in the water, she had a pair of large sunglasses on her nose and that same fucking bikini I’d told her didn’t fit her anymore. No wonder the guys were all huddled around her with that belly, that protruding belly button, and those full tits barely concealed by the scrap of fabric. Shit, the guys were likely salivating…but they knew she was mine. Why the fuck were they around her?

I picked up my pace, grabbing a few towels on my way to where she was sitting. There was a basketball resting on the concrete, near the pool house, so I bent to grab it then tossed it toward the group. It splashed behind them, getting their backs wet and making them all turn to see who’d thrown it.

“Move.”

Their eyes went wide as they must have realized their fuck-up, especially when I walked behind Taylor and tossed a towel over her chest and lap.

“Hey, what are you…” Taylor started, but I wasn’t listening.

“The fuck are you guys doing?” I crouched down to get eye level with my men. Three of them had already gotten the hint and swam away. Two of them remained, one of them standing way too fucking close to Taylor for my liking.

“You said you didn’t need to claim her…which means she’s free game. I see no ink on your chest, boss.”

I stood, pushing my foot into his torso until he was flopping back in the water.

“Hey,” Taylor whined, protecting her face from the splash.

I bent low again to look her in the eye. “And you, what did we talk about? I’m pretty sure you said you wouldn’t wear this”—I put my finger under the thin black strap at her neck—“again.”

She tipped her glasses up, resting them on her head. Her blonde locks were wrapped in a messy-looking bun, allowing little tendrils to tickle her neck. Her freckles were on display from her not wearing any makeup. She looked like home, like the rest of my life, and my chest did a pathetic thump at the image: her in the pool while our kids splashed around us, me holding a baby gently and carefully to shield them from the water. I wanted an entire herd of kids with Taylor, starting with the one currently in her belly.

“You said a bunch of bullshit then I stripped in front of you…should I do that again?” Those pink lips twisting into a smirk created a problem for my board shorts. Over my dead fucking body would she be doing that little routine out here.

“Get out of the water, Taylor.”

She leaned back onto her palms, giving me a better view of those tits straining against the flimsy bathing suit. “Why?”

Even her asking was too much pushback for me as the leash on my control began to fray.

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