Page 108 of Don't Leave Me

I was almost considering asking Michael to let her stay with us when she got out.

Emily shrugged. “I’m gonna be consistent with my meds. I’m gonna go to therapy. I don’t want another episode like this to happen again,” she answered confidently.

I tilted my head at her and nodded. “Okay, good,” I smiled.

She looked passed my shoulder again. “Maybe you should talk to Jack,” she said, looking to me again. “He’s probably dying to talk to you.”

I hesitated. “I thought you said I shouldn’t? Not get his hopes up?” I eyed her curiously.

Emily shrugged. “It’s up to you. I just think it’ll hurt him if you don’t talk to him now that you’ve seen him.”

I sighed.Maybe she’s right. Michael can’t ever know about this though. Fuck, I can’t keep this from him. He’ll understand.

Emily could tell that she had persuaded me – she stood up and put her hand on my shoulder.

“I’ll go get him,” she smiled.

Fuck. I cleared my throat and felt my heart racing; I couldn’t look anywhere but my hands.What the hell am I gonna say to him?

“Hey,” I heard his voice.

I looked up and there was Jack, his facial hair more stubbly than usual, his big blue eyes sad and tired, but there were his dimples: his pretty, pouty lips were smiling at me.

“Hi,” I said quietly as I watched him sit next to me.

“Emily said you wanted to see me, but I don’t really believe that,” his self-deprecation clear in his tone.

I looked down at my hands again, a lump in my throat. “No, I did. I do,” I nodded, looking up at him with a faint smile. “How are you feeling?”

He licked his lips and shrugged, looking around the place. “Never felt better,” he smiled sarcastically.

I didn’t smile back. “Seriously, Jack,” I wrinkled my forehead.

Jack sighed and looked down at his clutched hands. “I’m fucked up, Han. I know we weren’t technically together, and I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but I know that I love you. And every time I realize that you don’t love me back, it’s like a fucking tractor has hit me right in the chest,” he admitted, looking up at me now.

That was all it took. I started to cry, right there in the psychiatric ward, not even able to hide it – I was hysterical.

“I’m sorry,” I put my face into my hands. “I’m so sorry,” I repeated.

I felt his hand on my knee. “Hana, I’m sorry,” he comforted me softly.

I tried with all my might to calm down, and once I did, I wiped my eyes and gave Jack a big, long hug; I couldn’t stand that I had hurt him so much and here he was trying to comfort me…the least he deserved was a hug. He hugged me back – a real, snug, affectionate, apologetic hug and I knew that he meant it.

“I just want you in my life, Hana. No more bullshit. I won’t try anything stupid again,” he said, taking my hand, almost pleading me.

I felt my whole body buzzing from just his touch.Fuck fuck fuck.

I was dumbfounded. “You mean,” I sniffled, still calming down from my sob-fest. “Like, as friends?” I questioned.

Jack nodded with his wide, hopeful blue eyes.There’s no way Michael will let me be friends with Jack. Absolutely no way.

“Sure,” I smiled, not knowing how I was going to pull this off.

I had never seen someone so relieved.

“I’ll call you whenever I get out of here,” he smiled. “I’ll go get Emily,” he squeezed my hand and then walked away.

Fuck! What have I done? Michael will understand, right? I mean, it’s basically life or death here. Right?My heart was dropping more and more by the second.

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