Page 127 of Don't Leave Me

Emily shook her head at me as she smiled. “You’re the worst, Mrs. Secret Pants,” she teased me.

We talked about first dance songs, about what kind of cake flavor I wanted, then we switched onto the topic of our meds and how hard it was to not drink when Emily’s phone buzzed on the table.

“It’s Adam, you mind?”

I shook my head and smiled, then glanced down at my own phone as she took the call.

“Hey babe!” she answered cheerfully.

I watched her eyes almost bulge out of her head.

“Shit! I totally forgot. I’m having tea with Hana in LES. I’ll be there in like 20 minutes,” she titled her head at me, putting one hand up to her forehead and smacking herself lightly. “Okay, love you too. Bye babe,” she hung up. “I am atotalfucking airhead. We got tickets to see some weird horror movie in Williamsburg at 3. I swear these meds make me dumber than I already am,” she shook her head at herself.

“Don’t worry about it,” I laughed, watching her frantically shrug her coat on.

“I love you. Do you mind getting this? I’ll pay you back!” she pointed at the table.

“I love you too. Don’t worry about it. Go, hurry,” I stood up and gave her a quick, tight hug.

“You’re the best, Han,” she smiled at me and then nearly ran out the door.

I watched her quickly rush towards the subway and wave at me frantically while blowing kisses with her other hand as she whizzed by the window I sat at. I laughed as I glanced down at my phone, realizing that Michael had texted me:How’s your coffee date going? Decaf I hope? ;)I rolled my eyes and smiled as I texted him back quickly:Of course decaf, sir. It went well - just ended. Heading home or shall I meet you for a quick kiss? I’m close.

“Hana,” I heard a familiar voice, and I whipped my head up to look at who it was – it was Jack, staring down at me with his light blue eyes and flashing his dimples.

He looked different somehow. He had a faint stubble of facial hair and his dark blonde hair was still messy but in that cool, hipster way. He had a long-sleeved thermal shirt on and I could see his arm muscles bulging underneath – had he been working out? Surely he wasn’t this bulky the last time I had seen him.

“Jack,” I breathed, my voice high.

“What a pleasant surprise,” he smiled. “How are you?”

“I’m um…I’m doing well. Please, sit,” I pointed at the empty chair in front of me; for some reason his muscled stature hovering above me made me uneasy.

Jack obliged and set his coffee down on the table. I could tell he was observing me carefully, searching my face.

“How are you doing?” I beamed at him, feeling my face grow hot as I stared at his biceps and then looked back at his dimpled smile –get ahold of yourself, Hana.

“Quite well. Trying to adjust to life at my sister’s,” he raised his eyebrows at me, almost comically. “I try to give her her space though. I live part-time at the gym now,” he teased.

“That’s great. You look great,” I noted casually, looking down at his arms again, then at his hand that cupped his coffee cup.

I started to imagine his hands on me, but I quickly looked back up at him. Of course these feelings would occur, but they were just feelings. I was about to marry the most attractive man on the planet.What is wrong with me?

“You look great as well. As always,” Jack smiled at me kindly. “What’s new with you? I’m not intruding, am I?” he looked around, as if I would be expecting someone.

I shook my head. “No. You just missed Emily,” I sighed.“I’m uh…gosh, what’s new with me? Well,” I paused, fiddling with the engagement ring on my left hand under the table.

Jack waited patiently for me to continue. He looked so at ease and I could tell how neurotic I seemed at that moment.

“Well,” I continued nervously as I looked down at my hands then placed them on the table. Better to do this now when he had a safe place to go home to.Maybe I should text Jess and tell her that I’ve told him. “I’m actually engaged. To Michael,” I admitted, then hesitantly looked up at him.

Jack’s eyes were widened so subtly but I could tell he was surprised. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed and he took a moment to respond. “Wow,” he raised his eyebrows at me. “Congratulations,” he gave me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

I bit my lip probably to refrain from crying. He looked so deeply wounded all because of me.

“Thank you,” I responded quietly, giving him a small smile.

It was almost awkward for a moment, but then Jack smiled as he looked down at his hands.

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