Page 141 of Don't Leave Me

My eyes filled with tears.He hasn’t given up.

“The fuck do you want, Michael?” Jack hollered through the door, then quickly walked to the safe.The gun. No.

“I want to speak to Hana,” Michael called out – his voice sounded panicked.

I almost hyperventilated at the sound of his voice. I was afraid I would forget it.

“Jack, please. You don’t need to get the gun out,” I whispered to him, getting up from the bed, ashamed that I was naked.

Jack ignored me. “She doesn’t want to speak to you,” Jack responded, loading bullets into the gun.

Jesus Christ. Please, no.

“Please, Jack,” I pleaded, my hands shaking, my body frozen near the bed.

Jack quickly walked to me as he put the gun in the waistband of his boxer briefs, then covered it with his shirt.

“Put a shirt and underwear on. You better fucking convince himnow, Hana,” he ordered me.

“Hana, please just talk to me for a minute,” Michael called out, then pounded on the door again.

His voice killed me. I took a shirt that Jack handed to me – of course, his shirt – then slid on underwear and hurriedly made my way to the door. Jack followed me and unlocked it, then stood behind the door as I slowly opened it…revealing my Michael on the other side. His eyes were wide, pleading with me already, and his face was scruffy and his hair unkempt. He looked exhausted as he placed his hand on the door frame and blinked, looking me up and down as if to make sure it was really me. My body felt weak and on fire.

“Hana, my love,” he croaked, tears filling his eyes.

I wanted to die right then and there. If I couldn’t have Michael, then my life was not worth living.

“Michael,” I whispered, holding my arms to myself, trying to hide my shaking body.

“Hana, please come back. I will do anything you want. I will change anything that you’re not happy with. Please just come back to me,” he pleaded, his voice wavering.

I almost ran into his arms. My heart was crushed and tears flowed down my cheek. Suddenly, Jack showed himself from behind the door and put his arm around my waist.

“She doesn’t want you anymore, Michael. You need to move on,” he said sympathetically, as if he felt sorry for him.

Michael’s eyes looked from me to Jack, then back to me again.

“Is this what you want, Hana?” Michael groaned, his eyebrows furrowed, still in disbelief.

I felt Jack’s hand grip me tighter as I hesitated. I let out a cry, unable to control myself. “Yes,” I choked out. “Yes, I’m so sorry,” I continued, then ran into the bathroom, unable to face him any longer.

I was uncontrollably sobbing as I sat against the wall, my face in my hands, my chest feeling like it would collapse. I truly wanted to die. Michael’s face before I ran away would haunt me for the rest of my life. He was broken.

Jack was in the bathroom with me soon after. He flicked the lights on and sat in front of me, just watching me.

“He believed you,” he finally said quietly. “Iwouldn’t have. That was a poor performance, Hana,” he went on, disappointment clear in his tone.

“Leave me the fuck alone!” I yelled, unable to control myself anymore - I hated him. I truly hated him for making me do that to Michael, and my anger boiled and raged inside of me like a tornado.

Jack’s eyes widened. He was in disbelief. I was terrified, but I didn’t care anymore. I wanted him to do his worst to me. Maybe he would just kill me instead if I didn’t comply.

“Did you really just fucking scream at me, Hana?”

I stopped crying. My anger turned to sheer fear as Jack stood up and quickly walked out of the bathroom. I turned my head to see where he was going, but I could only hear ruffling noises in a closet.If only this fucking bathroom had a door. He returned, to my horror, with a belt in his hand.

“You want me to be the bad guy, Hana? I’ll be the bad guy. Get up,” he demanded.

I was frozen. The belt was the only time I used my safe word with Michael.

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