Page 147 of Don't Leave Me

I stood up, holding my long peacoat on my arm. “Yeah, everything is fine. That’s actually what I came here about. Can we talk privately?” I asked, my voice smooth as I tried not to worry him more.

He blinked and nodded. “Yes, of course. Follow me,” he said, then turned and walked through the double doors of the office.

I followed and as we walked in, I eyed all of the cubicles, people typing incessantly, phones ringing repeatedly. I saw an empty cubicle near the window and wondered if that was Hana’s.

Michael opened his office door for me and I walked in, his view even more gorgeous than the one in the lobby.

“Please, take a seat,” he motioned to the chair opposite of his in front of his desk. “So what’s happened?” He cut straight to the chase.

“I’m worried about Hana. I saw her yesterday and she seemed…I don’t know, off,” I explained, wishing I knew of a better way to say it. “She doesn’t seem like herself, and not in the hypomanic or depressed way, which I’ve seen. More like…she seemed scared,” I went on.

Michael stared at me with confusion. “Really? How so?”

I explained how she seemed jumpy, that her voice wavered and she seemed to be holding something back.

“And…I really don’t understand why Hana left. No one has really explained what happened. I mean, I talked to Emily but it seems like she’s blowing things out of proportion,” I went on, wondering if he would volunteer information.

“I can’t exactly say why Hana left. She wrote me an e-mail, out of all things. It was so impersonal that I hardly believed it,” he raised his eyebrows and shook his head slowly – the pain was so apparent in his eyes. “I called and called her. I texted her a million times. Admittedly, I still do, but I think she has me blocked now,” he lowered his eyes. “I called Emily as well, to see if she had talked to Hana, and she acted as if everything was fine, that Hana just said she didn’t want to be with me anymore,” he went on quietly.

“What did the e-mail say?” I asked cautiously. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

He looked pained again. He took his cell phone in his hand and brought the e-mail up in a few seconds. “Have a look at it,” he offered.

I read the e-mail quietly. “So this just came out of nowhere?” I asked, handing him his phone back.

I felt like a reporter, or a detective. I was hoping I wasn’t crossing any lines, but he seemed open to talking about it with me.

He nodded his head. “Out of nowhere. The night before we were narrowing down the caterer for the wedding. She fell asleep in my arms,” he said quietly, zoned out on the memory.

“Was she acting strange, or say anything strange in the days that led up to her leaving?” I went on.

Michael shook his head. “No. She was doing quite well. She seemed happy and excited for our wedding. And then…” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders, but something came to him. “She only took a few things: some clothes, her Macbook, her phone. Some of her makeup was missing. She left her engagement ring but…I haven’t been able to find another ring I gave her,” he explained.

I perked up. “What ring was that?”

He looked up at me for a moment. “Did Hana tell you about…” he trailed off, waiting for me to finish, and I knew what he meant.

“About the dominant/submissive aspect of your relationship?” I clarified for him, wanting him to know that I was not afraid to say it.

Michael smiled to himself, looking down, almost seeming embarrassed. Maybe he didn’t talk about it a lot to people that weren’t his subs. He nodded. “Yes.”

“No, she didn’t tell me…maybe out of fear of being judged. She always wants my approval,” I explained. “But she did tell Emily, who relayed it to me in a not-so-nice way and said that Hana didnotwant that kind of relationship – that that’s why she broke up with you,” I went on.

Michael looked thoroughly confused. “That’s not true, that she didn’t want it,” he argued. “She was very much for it. She enjoyed it tremendously,” he explained defensively.

I nodded, believing him. “So this was all consensual? You both agreed to terms and you respected her boundaries?” I pressed further.

He almost looked relieved that I knew what I was talking about. He spaced out again, looking out the window. “Yes, of course. This wasn’t a new thing for me – she wasn’t my first, but she was definitely my last,” he turned back to me. “I gave her a ring, a submissive ring that said she was mine forever with my name on it. I gave it to her knowing I would propose to her. She never took it off,” he went on. “She had it on when I went over to Jack’s, to see if she was really leaving me.”

Whyhadn’t he mentioned this earlier? I perked up again.

“You saw her? When? How was she? What did she say?”

He hesitated for a moment. I saw him gulp – I knew he was holding back tears. My heart broke for him.

“I tried to get his address since the day she left. I called Adam, hoping he would have some sympathy, but he didn’t budge with me. I googled and researched for addresses for hours to no avail. Finally around 6 AM one morning I got a text from Emily. She gave me the address but told me not to do anything stupid,” he explained. “But I headed over there immediately. I couldn’t keep it together. Once she answered the door, half-dressed in his clothes,” Michael lowered his eyes, staring at his hands. “I fell apart. I told her I would do anything for her, change anything she wasn’t happy with. I just didn’t understand,” he went on, then his eyes narrowed. “Then Jack appeared at the door, holding my fiancee like he owned her. He spoke for her, saying that she didn’t want me anymore, to move on, like he pitied me,” he spit out, wringing his hands.

I waited for him to continue. “Didshesay anything to you?” I asked after a long silence.

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