Page 160 of Don't Leave Me

“No, he hasn’t. Honestly, Billie, I think they’re fine. I think Hana just feels guilty about leaving Michael, and now she has you on her case about every little thing again. You were always so hard on her, like a big sister or something, and she was probably just nervous about how you would react to her leaving such agreatlife with Michael,” Emily went on, as if she had been bottling this all up.

For a split second, I almost believed her. I knew I was hard on Hana, but she needed that guidance sometimes. That’s why we had been best friends since they day we had met – we balanced each other out well. If Hana hadn’t told me that Jack had kidnapped her, I may have believed she was just acting like a rebellious teenager the way Emily thought she was. But I knew one colossal secret.

“If you hearanythingfrom either of them, please let me know, Emily. Please,” I begged her, my tone desperate.

Emily sighed again. “Sure.”

I was stalking Jessica’s Instagram for some sort of clue 30 minutes later when I saw that Emily had texted me:Look at Hana’s new Instagram post. I looked down at my phone with confusion –I thought Hana doesn’t have access to her phone. I immediately opened Instagram again and her post was the first thing that showed up. It was a picture of Hana sitting on Jack’s lap in what looked to be a restaurant, her arm draped around Jack’s shoulder, a big smile on her face. Jack reciprocated the smile, holding onto Hana lovingly.What the fuck?I read the caption and felt like I was going to explode. I read it five times.What…the fuck?

I immediately dialed Hana, hoping to hear her voice.

“Hey, Billie!” she answered cheerfully after the 3rdring.

* * *

HANA.

Jack had sent off the picture to the world after so easily seducing me, which made me realize that perhaps he was right all along - I did want all of this. Maybe I was brainwashed, or scared for my life, but I was still acting as his compliant fiancée and believed that he loved me.

I started to pull my underwear back up as Jack looked up at me not 3 minutes after he sent my love declaration onto the internet.

“Billie is calling you. Tell her you made it all up. Make her believe you, Hana,” Jack ordered, then handed me the phone immediately after he answered it and put it on speaker.

“Hey, Billie!” I exclaimed, giving it my best shot.

Jack smiled at me with amusement.

“Hana? Are you okay?” her voice was strained and confused.

“I am. Look, Billie,” I started, sitting down and trying to find the energy to start the lie. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have scared you like that. The truth is…I was, I was lying about Jack kidnapping me. I was lost and confused about Michael - you had me feeling so guilty about leaving him, and you kept going on about how we were meant for each other and I just, I don’t know, I thought lying to you would be easier than the truth,” I explained, tearing up, but continuing before she could respond. “Because the truth was that I thought that I wanted Michael, and I thought that leaving Jack again would break his heart too badly - that he would try to kill himself or overdose again, and I thought if he got sent to jail, that would be easier for him. So I made it all up. I thought I could lie to you, and that would make me go to the police and have him sent away. But I can’t do that. I am in love with Jack and now I know that I need him, and he needs me. I wasn’t meant for the life I had with Michael.”

I paused and looked at Jack; his eyes were widened while he waited for a response from Billie.

“Did he tell you to say all that?” Billie finally asked, her voice low and suspicious.

“No, Billie. It’s all me. Look, you knew how tumultuous my relationship with Michael was like. I left him, what, twice to go back to Jack? I never truly had my mind made up. But Jack confessed his love to me last night, and now I just know this is right,” I answered, needing her to believe me.

There was a pause again. “This is just all too fucking ridiculous to be true, Hana,” she started. “You’re not awful enough to send an innocent man to jail for a huge thing like kidnapping, especially Jack. Why the fuck would you lie about that? That’s just…that’s too crazy, even for you, Hana,” she continued, anger rising in her voice.

I looked at Jack, my eyes desperate, his now angry.

“I’m sorry for lying to you, Billie,” I choked out.

“I got the fucking police involved! I got Michael involved! I told them everything you told me! Of course the police didn’t believe us. They saw your mental history and immediately dismissed this like you were just a manic, crazy fucking lunatic. But I know that’s not you!” she argued.

I didn’t know how to respond - Jack raised his eyebrows at me, expecting me to go on.

“I shouldn’t have gotten you involved, Billie. I’m so sorry,” I repeated, feeling like I was going to throw up; I couldn’t stand that I was doing this to her.

“They’ve been looking into your ATM activity, trying to figure out where you guys were. We were going to file a missing persons report, Hana. You’re telling me that you just fucking lied about all of this?” she yelled, her words stinging me as if I really had lied - it was all so ridiculous.

“Yes,” I choked out. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t - I don’t fucking believe this. You’re fucking dead to me, Hana.” She hung up.

I threw the phone on the bed and immediately started to sob. I could feel Jack wrap his arms around me, trying to comfort me, and somehow it worked. I wept in his chest, in his arms, and I had somehow forgotten that this was all his doing.

* * *

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