Page 169 of Don't Leave Me

I wanted to say neither did I. But I didn’t really believe that, did I? I knew this day had to happen. I fantasized about this day when we first spent the night together, lounging together in his bed. It involved me wearing white, though, in addition to many different things.

All I could do was look up and smile at him. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so I said nothing to be safe. He seemed surprised, even disappointed, that I didn’t quip back.

“Okay, hold hands and look at each other,” Emily instructed us, acting as our wedding photographer.

We did as she said. Jack looked at me and smiled gently. I gave him a slow, crooked smile and then looked down. He was so happy, so in love with me - the old Jack that I knew. It felt like my heart kept breaking and mending itself, over and over.

“Perfect!” Emily squealed. “Now Hana, stand one stair down in front of Jack. Jack, put your hand on Hana’s shoulder. Hana, hold Jack’s hand on your shoulder,” she instructed.

We did as she said - it struck me as ironic that I was now taking orders from my best friend. I couldn’t help but laugh and Emily beamed. “Yes!”

We posed for another 10 minutes as my nose turned red from the cold. Emily’s last photo request was of the rings on our hands, together. I placed my shaky left hand atop Jack’s and he acted as my anchor. I could see Jack looking down at me as he held onto me, warming with me with his body heat.

“Love it! Perfect,” Emily announced.

Jack immediately called over Adam and retrieved our coats. He placed mine around me, waiting for me to shrug it on. He was being so gentlemanly, so kind and thoughtful.Will he always be this nice to me now? The more compliant I am, the more kind he is?

Emily already had our reception dinner all planned out. She had a reservation at a Mediterranean restaurant about 10 minutes away and I stayed quiet the whole ride there, listening to everyone else animatedly talk about the day. Jack sat in the back seat with me and put his hand on my thigh, squeezing gently.

“I love you, Hana,” he said quietly, almost looking defeated.

“I love you too, Jack,” I smiled at him, almost somehow feeling bad about my lack of excitement.

He smiled back at me, unconvinced.

We walked into the restaurant, hand in hand, Jack now quiet as well. It was not a busy lunch hour – there were only two other occupied tables as we sat down at a square table, the white tablecloth set with fine tableware, the chairs comfortable and heavy. There were wine glasses waiting to be drank from – god how I wish I could get drunk. I looked over at Jack and he stared down at the table, his hands clasped together, now seeming angry that I wasn’t happy and excited and bubbly. I decided to change my attitude because if I didn’t, I would pay for it later.

“Should we get champagne for a toast?” I suggested cheerily to everyone, but my eyes stopped at Jack.

He smiled faintly at me as Adam and Emily agreed. “Sounds lovely,” he replied quietly, then waved over our server.

I was surprised that Jack was going to let me drink, but I was grateful. I was preparing a speech in my head for Jack, a mushy, lovely speech that was sure to win me points.

“Thank you for taking pictures today, Emily,” I smiled at her. “Can we take a look?”

“Yes! They are gorgeous. Of course, I had gorgeous subjects, so it was easy,” Emily beamed, reaching for her phone in her purse.

I looked over at Jack and smiled at him. I desperately wanted to make him happy. He was starting to show a better mood now.

Emily took her phone and brought the pictures up, then handed it to me. I leaned over towards Jack to show him exactly what I was looking at. He leaned towards me as well, eyeing the first picture. We really did make a gorgeous couple. These almost looked like professional photos – how was an iPhone camera so clear, with so much depth? I stared at our smiling faces, our hands entwined, the gorgeous city hall a perfect backdrop. I scrolled to the next photo, and the next, and I kept complimenting Emily on how great they were.

“We will be framing them all,” Jack teased – my plan was working.

“Your champagne, ladies and gentleman,” the server brought a tray with the sparkling white wine, setting down one in front of each of us.

I let Jack take the phone as he thanked the server, then I quickly stood up, suddenly nervous. I took the champagne flute in my hand and looked over at Jack.

“I just wanted to make a quick toast, my first as Mrs. Jack Maynor,” I announced, my voice shaking but I held my head up high.

Jack raised his eyebrows at me with a mixture of amusement and worry. He glanced over at Emily and Adam – they were happily smiling at me, holding their champagne flutes as well.

“I used to think I knew what love was. I used to think I had it all figured out. And then weeks ago my life changed forever,” I started, my eyes still on Jack. “Jack showed me what love was all about. He taught me that love was patient, that it would wait around even when I was too stubborn to admit it,” I laughed. “He taught me that love was hard – it’s about making difficult decisions, but making them for the best for both of us,” I went on – Jack’s eyes were widened now, listening intently. “And really, I just can’t see myself living any other way but with you, Jack. I need you and you helped me realize that. We complete each other and we fit together so well. You are my other half. We are soulmates – the kind that you only find once in a lifetime. You are my everything, and I am so happy to be your wife. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my days with you,” I lifted my flute. “I love you, Jack. To us.”

Jack smiled happily, lifting his flute. “To us, sweetheart,” he proclaimed, and we all took a sip as I sat down.

“That was beautiful, Han,” Emily beamed.

I looked over at Jack – he was satisfied by my little speech and reached his hand out under the table to my thigh.

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