Page 181 of Don't Leave Me

I had no idea what day it was, or even what time it was. “When is that?”

Jack paused for a moment, observing my sad face. “It’s Tuesday now, sweetheart,” he answered quietly.

“Oh, okay. That’s great,” I smiled, trying my hardest not to think of how utterly depressed I was becoming.

I could see his mind working but I wasn’t sure on what.

“Here,” Jack started, then lifted his backpack up from under his seat and dug around in it. He finally pulled out my phone and turned it on, the battery full, the picture of a snowy Tompkins Square Park I took months ago still my background image, the time showing 9:30 PM, the date February 18th.

Jack handed it to me. I couldn’t register what was going on – was he giving me my phone back? Did he trust me now? I held my phone in my hands and looked up at him, confused and unsure of what to say.

“What do you want me to do with it?”

“Get up to date with the news. Scroll through social media. Look at porn. Do whatever you did with it before,” he responded kindly, his tone amused.

I smiled at him slowly, feeling my crooked smile widen.

I was cautiously excited. “I get it back?”

Jack nodded, putting his arm around me. “You’ve been doing well lately, sweetheart. A perk of being such a great wife.”

I felt like this was all a trick. The first thing I wanted to do was dial Michael, and I wasn’t sure how much I could deny that temptation. But if Jack was always around, surely I couldn’t get away with trying to speak to Michael. And I was positive that Jack would be checking on what I was doing on it often.

“I just have some rules,” Jack started, removing his arm from my shoulder, then raised his eyebrows at me. “You don’t try to contact Michael, at all. Ever,” he said sternly – there was a sudden ache in my chest. “I don’t have to remind you of what will happen if you do,” he went on, and I felt a lump in my throat. “Secondly: don’t say or post anything incriminating about us. No subtle tweets or Instagram posts or texts about feeling trapped or stuck…only happy things about us.”

I nodded; he had this all thought out.

“And lastly, don’t say anything to Billie without my consent,” he finished, his tone still stern.

This one surprised me. I didn’t think Billie would want to have anything to do with me.

“Okay,” I nodded, my voice weak and tired.

The chance that Billie would text me at that very moment seemed comical – but there it was, a text from Billie vibrating on my phone. I widened my eyes and looked back up at Jack, showing him my phone.

“I didn’t even open it yet,” I gawked at him nervously.

“I know, sweetheart. Read it. What does it say?” he rubbed my thigh, calming me.

I unlocked my phone and pulled up the text from Billie: “Hey Han. I know I’m the last person you want to talk to, but I wanted to reach out. I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been towards you and Jack lately. It broke my heart when you told me you made all that stuff up about Jack and I felt betrayed somehow. But I was talking to Emily and she told me that there’s obviously nothing wrong, that you two are so in love and happy together. And the pictures of you two from your wedding day are beautiful. I understand that you probably lied because it was easier to say that than the truth: that you were leaving your fiance for another man. It’s a hard thing to do, but I do know that you always listen to your heart and your heart is the biggest thing about you. I wish you didn’t have to make those things up, but you did, and I understand why. I don’t want you to be afraid to say anything to me, or fear that I’ll judge you or try to dissuade you from what you really want. I’m sorry for being so hard on you all the time. I’ve always wanted the best for you, Han, and I’ve always just wanted you to be happy. If you are happy, then I am happy. I love you so much and I can’t stand that we aren’t best friends right now. Okay – now I’m sorry for the novel, but I think that’s all. Please call me, or text me, if you’d like. I’ll always be here for you.”

I immediately started to sob. Now my best friend, who I “lied” to on numerous occasions was apologizing tome? I was clearly in the wrong here and there she was, being the better person, being the most wonderful human being on the planet.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” Jack asked after a few moments of letting me cry.

I nodded – I knew that he had read the text as I cried and he seemed to be in deep thought.

“Do you think this is sincere?” he wondered quietly, now holding my phone in his hand and slightly lifting it up.

I nodded, tears streaming down my face again. “I do,” I hiccuped out. “Can I please respond to her?” My eyes were wide as I stared up at him.

Jack was in deep thought again. “Sure. Just let me see. I still don’t trust her though, sweetheart,” he admitted quietly.

I understood why he didn’t trust her – she was tenacious and she really,reallydidn’t like us together - that I could tell.

Jack hesitantly handed my phone back to me and I began to type back.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I was honestly acting so crazy – you were right to feel like something was wrong, especially when I made up such a ridiculous story,” I began typing, looking up at Jack for his approval. He nodded and I continued. “I’m just sorry for all of this drama. I really am happy now though, Billie. I am living my best life with Jack and I am just so happy and in love with him, it’s ridiculous,” I could hear Jack faintly chuckle. “I really appreciate you reaching out and saying all of this – it’s such a relief to know that you’re back on my side. I love you and you’ll always be my best friend, no matter what.” Jack suddenly interjected.

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