Page 190 of Don't Leave Me

Her defenses were now up as well. “Did you have a choice?”

I paused. I couldn’t believe she was flat out saying all of these things while Jack was five feet away. She was quiet, but she was bold.

“I had to follow my heart,” I retorted back to her, then walked over to the bar, trying my hardest not to seem angry but like I just needed a refill – I couldn’t have Jack knowing that she was still trying to uncover the truth.

I ordered my third white wine and then looked back at Jack who was now watching me, seemingly not paying any attention to the conversation between his family and mine. I could see his eyes following someone coming near me – of course, it was Jessica.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to bring up the obvious,” she frowned, looking exhausted by our conversation already.

I shook my head. “I wasn’t worried about that. I don’t know why Jack is pushing you away,” I assured her, taking my wine in my hand and turning towards her.

She looked in deep thought. “He’s always ice cold or the best big brother ever to me. There’s no in between,” she admitted sadly.

I furrowed my brows at her. “Why?”

She shrugged and looked over at him, then back at me. “I don’t know. That’s the way he’s always been. To everyone. He’s so moody. I’m sure you know that by now,” she observed my face intently.

I looked down at my wine. It wasn’t always so black and white between us, but I understood that he was moody. I wondered if he had borderline personality disorder. The doctors tried to diagnose me with that before they concluded with my bipolar diagnosis.

“Does he treat you well? I mean…besides, you know,” she inquired, seeming honestly concerned.

“Of course,” I answered, my defenses up again.

“He hasn’t,” she turned to look over at Jack, making sure he wasn’t in ear shot. “He hasn’t hit you, or been angry with you?”

I shook my head. I would never be able to admit to those things. I had to protect him, to take care of him. I had vowed to do that. “No,” I lied.

For all I knew, this could have been another test. Jack could have asked Jess to grill me and make sure I was only saying good things about him.

Jess only stared at me, still unconvinced. “I really hope that’s true. That hasn’t been the case in his past relationships. I do love my brother, but I know what he’s capable of,” she whispered, then suddenly walked away. I realized that Jack was now appearing beside me.

He was clearly irritated. “What was she going on about?” his hand was now whiskey-free, and still totally sober.

I couldn’t lie to him. “She asked if you were treating me well,” I admitted. “I said of course you do,” I put my hand on his.

Jack was now visibly angry. “Fucking Jessica,” he muttered under his breath, then turned to look at me again. “And what about Billie?”

I shook my head. “She started to talk about Michael and I didn’t want to talk about him,” I answered with a half-truth.

Jack observed me, possibly trying to see if I was telling the truth or not.

“Good,” he nodded, his tension easing. “Emily wants to do the cake now,” he changed the subject, then took my hand and we headed towards the table in the middle of the bar.

Emily brought out a two-tiered, medium-sized cake with the traditional bride and groom wedding topper. Everyone gathered around as Jack took a huge knife that Emily handed over, then he eyed me with a smile. It could have felt sinister if I didn’t love him as much as I did. I put my hand atop his and we carefully cut the first piece of cake together, the cheer of the crowd growing louder, and then carefully set the piece of cake on a small plate. Jack took a fork from the table and handed it to me, then took one of his own, and he began to feed me a piece – I did the same and then he pulled me closer to him and smashed the cake from his mouth to mine, giving me a big, cake-filled kiss, leaving us both with half-eaten cake on our faces, a tradition that I’m sure he was thrilled about. I laughed and wiped a piece off his face and stuck it in my mouth, the mess of his face leaving a smile permanent on my lips.

“You’re tasty,” I raised an eyebrow.

Jack smiled and licked a piece of cake from my lips. “As are you, sweetheart. Can’t wait to taste more of you later.”

His husky voice made my my insides swirl with heat rising from my belly.

I was surprised that Billie hadn’t stormed off after our conversation – in fact, she was still happily chatting with my parents and I wondered why she had stuck around. Did she want to keep quizzing me about me and Jack? Did she want to find out all the information she could – is that why she was talking to Jess? I knew Jess would never say anything, but it still made me nervous.

The party continued on during the night, Jack not leaving my side anymore, probably to protect me from the inquisitive Jessica and Billie. Around 9:30 the crowd started dwindling – my parents headed back to their upper east side hotel and Jack’s NYU friends were on their way to another bar. Billie had left soon after the cake, giving me a stiff goodbye, probably angry that I wasn’t telling her what she wanted to hear. We were left with Jack’s family and Emily and Adam, and I was drunk and nursing my 4thglass of wine. Jessica was beating me by a couple drinks and seemed to be irritated that Jack didn’t want anything to do with her. I finally pulled him aside and gave him a frown.

“Why are you being so mean to Jessica?” I asked bravely, the wine dwindling any fear I had of Jack.

Jack now had his second whiskey in his hand and looked a little ashamed. He took a quick sip before he answered.

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