Page 195 of Don't Leave Me

She smiled back at me, convinced I was okay again. “I’m sorry being here makes you so sad. Why don’t we suggest someplace else? Tell Jack I got food poisoning there before. I’ll pick something else and text Adam,” she suggested, already grabbing her phone from her purse.

Thank God for Emily, my savior.

I took my phone from my coat and began to text Jack: “Emily said she doesn’t like it there – got food poisoning recently. She wants to go someplace else.” Jack texted me 30 seconds later: “So she says. Meeting at a diner instead. See you soon, sweetheart.”

Relieved, we left the store with the lacy white dress and with Emily’s bag full.

53

Chapter 53

The Empire Diner looked like a casual, old school diner on the outside, but inside it was more classy, with real tables lining the windows and casual booths on the other side. We were lucky enough to get a window table with only a few minutes wait – the boys were running late and I stared down at my phone, still not wanting to be in the neighborhood and knowing I could see Michael at any minute. I mindlessly scrolled through Instagram and saw that Emily had posted on her story a video of us getting our pedicures done, tagging exactly where we were and tagging me in it as well. I hated that privacy was now out the window and all of her friends and mine knew our every move. What was the difference though? Jack always knew where I was. I no longer could afford the luxury of roaming in the shadows, or be inconspicuous with my sunset or tea photos. Jack could always track me down. For all I knew, Jessica could still be following me, or someone else. I looked up from my phone and searched around the restaurant, wondering if the guy that had just smiled at me or the lady in the red scarf on the street was Jack’s spy.

My thoughts were interrupted by Jack and Adam walking through the door. Emily’s hand shot right up as she flagged them down excitedly. For how angry and pessimistic I could get about being with Jack, seeing him took all of those feelings away instantly – I was hit with swirling butterflies in my belly when I saw him smile at me, his dimples making my heart beat a little faster.

* * *

Billie.

I didn’t think it would be so hard to get Hana to budge. At their party, I tried to whisk her away and interrogate her with questions, but she was adamant that this was what she wanted. And it really looked like it, too. Jack’s speech was the right amount of mush to get Hana to cry, professing his love in front of everyone. She clung onto him for dear life, their PDA strong; they were practically inseparable. She was either really in love with Jack or he had her exactly where he wanted her. Or perhaps it was a mixture of both; Hana was so fragile and susceptible. He may have just brainwashed her into thinking that they loved each other. I always joked with Hana that she would be the first one to join a cult. She just wanted somewhere to belong, somewhere to be loved.

Or maybe she really did love him. Maybe this was all the truth and I was just wasting my time trying to get Hana out of the dark side. She had to have known his history by now - his arrests, his heroin abuse, his angry outbursts. And she still loved him.

But I couldn’t help myself; I tried to get as much information as I could from that night. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I didn’t do everything in my power to find out the truth, even if it was something I didn’t want to hear. I even pulled Jessica aside and tried to get something out of her.

“Hey, Jessica,” I smiled at her kindly, sneaking up on her at the bar – she already seemed tipsy.

She turned to me and raised her eyebrows slightly, her mouth tensed a little as she eyed me up and down. She was not happy to see me. And that was fair – we never got along. After John told me all about her practically stalking him after they briefly dated, I was cold to her, and now it was always awkward between us.

“Hello, Billie,” she said before returning her gaze to her drink, clearly in a somber mood already.

“How’s it goin’?” I asked casually, leaning against the bar, trying my hardest to appear friendly.

Jessica shrugged. “Alright. How are you?” she eyed me again, now suspicious.

I sighed. “I’m alright. It’s crazy about Jack and Hana, isn’t it? This all happened so fast,” I cut straight to the point, looking over at Jack and Hana, their smiling faces focused on Jack’s mom.

“I don’t know,” Jessica disagreed with me quickly. “It’s been a long time coming, I’d say,” she went on, her accent wavering between English and American – this was the most I’d ever talked to her, so I never noticed it before. I’m sure her part as Roxie Hart affected her everyday speech now.

“You think?” I turned back to her, raising my eyebrows slightly.

“Sure. They’ve always had a strong thing for each other, haven’t they? Jack was smitten from the moment they met. She was too, but Michael kept luring her back,” she explained bitterly.

“I don’t think she really had a say in it,” I eyed her carefully now. “I mean…you know Jack’s history. He can be intimidating…and violent.” I was testing her now, waiting for her reaction.

Jessica turned to me, her eyes cold and angry. “I know what you think is going on. I’m not entirely out of the loop. But I can assure you that Hanawantsto be with my brother. Does that look like someone that is forced to be here?” her eyes shot over to Jack and Hana – they were now embracing and kissing gently.

I rolled my eyes. I was done with this conversation – I wasn’t going to get anything out of Jessica. Why did I think I could? I knew both her and Jack were batshit crazy siblings and would always vouch for each other. I hurriedly headed over to Hana’s parents and decided to try to mingle with them, to see if I could get anything out of them now.

But I left empty-handed. No one would say anything bad about Jack – Hana’s parents loved him, she loved him, his family loved him. I felt like I was at a loss. But then I looked over at Adam and Emily and wondered: what if I could get Emily to find out the truth? Hana was closer to her now more than ever. They apparently had double dates and spent a lot of time together. Maybe I could have Emily find out information without her even knowing she was doing it.

I had a new plan.

I wanted to wait a few days after the party to try to get closer to Emily. I had it all planned out: I would invite her out for a drink or for coffee, I would casually bring up Jack’s history to her, I would put it in her mind that he was unable to change his ways, that he had trespassed and stalked women before. These are things that a basic internet search led me to: Jack’s prior arrest history and convictions. He had numerous arrests for assault, one charge that he was seemingly acquitted for for stalking, an arrest for trespassing, an arrest for possession of drugs, and a restraining order. Who knows what his record was like in England and Wales? I would also bring up Michael – she seemed to have a lot of empathy for Michael, even though she fully supported Jack and Hana together.

But I didn’t even have to wait – Emily had contacted me before I could even reach out to her. It was three days after the party when I received a text from her around 9 PM: “I’m in Williamsburg. You home? Wanna meet for a drink?” I excitedly texted her back: “I’m home. I have wine here – I’ll open a bottle for us?” She was knocking on my door 15 minutes later.

It felt odd to have Emily in the apartment now that Hana was gone. I didn’t bother to try to find a new roommate yet; Hana was still paying rent until our lease ran out in June. She was kind and thoughtful that way.

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