Page 198 of Don't Leave Me

“Did I really ask you to do your worst?” I asked between my hiccuped cries.

Jack nodded, then released me from his arms before sitting down on the couch.

“Yes. You begged me. You told me you needed to feel pain because you felt so guilty for hurting me. You kept saying you deserved this, that you deserve this life,” he explained quietly, staring off into the distance.

I did believe that. I knew that was all true - I had been telling myself that over and over the past month.

Jack’s voice was strained. “This life isn’t a punishment, Hana. It’s not because you wronged me. It’s because that’s the way it’s supposed to be. This is the way the universe has to be. There’s no other way,” he looked up at me.

I nodded. “I know,” I said as I sat next to him.

I knew that he believed everything he was saying. I knew that he really thought that the life he created for me wasn’t a punishment but a necessity. He literally couldn’t live without me - that I knew.

Jack shook his head, ignoring me.

“I’ve given you multiple opportunities to run away from me, Hana. I’ve let you out with Emily, I’ve let you drive across the state, I’ve given you access to your phone,” he argued, starting a whole new conversation.

“I can’t, Jack,” I started. “I can’t go.”

Jack turned to me with furrowed brows. “You can. You could run away. You could take Michael and go into hiding. You could turn me in,” he bellowed, his eyes shining with his tears.

“No,” I shook my head this time. “I don’t want to,” I put my hand atop his.

“You don’t want to or you’re afraid to?”

I didn’t even think of his question - I knew the answer already.

“I don’t want to. I am afraid to be without you,” I blurted out, tears streaming down my face again.

The realization that my words were true stung deeper than anything else had. I was lost, I was in too deep - I was at the bottom of the well. And Jack was right there next to me. I was no longer doing this to save my family and loved ones - I was doing this to save him.

“Please don’t ever leave me, Hana,” Jack said with a tear falling down his cheek.

My heart broke. I pressed my body into his and nuzzled my face into his chest, Jack’s arms around me once again.

“I won’t,” I whispered, and we cried together.

* * *

Billie.

Emily was there when I called Michael and we put the plan in motion the next day. She had come to my apartment before I went into work and watched with eager eyes as I dialed him and put speakerphone on.

“Hi Billie,” Michael answered, the underlying pain still in his voice.

“Hey, Michael. Do you have a minute to chat?” I asked curiously, trying to sound hopeful.

I could hear him perk up. He knew that I had news.

“Of course. What’s going on?”

“I have Emily here with me. You’re on speaker,” I started. “Emily is starting to worry about Hana now. Em, you wanna explain?”

Emily nodded and moved closer to my phone.

“Hey, Michael,” she started. “So um, I went to shopping with her yesterday and we shared the same changing room. And well,” Emily paused and frowned. “She had bruises all over. A really, really big one on her ass and hips, and the rest were smaller but all over. She said that…well, I’m sorry to bring this up, but she said Jack did it to her when they were having sex. She said he got carried away,” she explained, her eyebrows furrowed and worried.

“Jesus Christ,” Michael spit out. “That’s bullshit. Did she say how they got ‘carried away’?”

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