Page 210 of Don't Leave Me

We suddenly pulled to a stop in front of Central Park. Jack tipped the cab driver, took my hand, and hurriedly walked me into the lobby of a fancy hotel lobby – the iconic Ritz Carlton. I had been inside the lounge once, with a fancy dinner date years ago, but here I was again.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, my eyes darting around the lobby.

“You’re not allowed to ask me any questions tonight, Hana,” Jack quickly snapped as we walked towards the front desks.

I bit my lip to refrain from crying. I was feeling too raw, too sensitive, too traumatized to say anymore.

“Hello sir, mam. How may we help you?” an older gentleman asked behind the desk, my eyes wandering to the chandelier in the middle of the room.

“A room with the park view, please. Two nights, minimum,” Jack said sternly, pulling his wallet out.

“Okay. Sir, each night is $1,500-” the man started.

“Here’s my black card,” Jack interrupted, throwing his card on the counter, clearly annoyed.

“Yes, sir,” the man said eagerly.

I turned to look at them. Jack was not in a good mood and was not going to sugarcoat his feelings, not even with a kind stranger just doing his job. I’m sure we didn’t look like typical Ritz Carlton guests. I probably looked like an escaped mental patient.

We were given a key card and he explained that someone could escort us to our room, but Jack denied.

“No, we’re capable, thanks,” Jack took my hand and we headed towards the elevators.

We walked empty-handed into the elevators and onto the 10thfloor.My second hotel of the night. My mind raced to Michael. He had to have known I didn’t do this willingly. But I hoped he would get over it – get over me. There was nothing else that could be done.

Jack kept quiet for the 10-floor elevator ride, not once letting go of my hand, then tugged me off the elevator and into the hallway, turning towards our room. I wanted to know why he decided to come to a hotel – this hotel – instead of the loft. Maybe he didn’t want anyone to come looking for us. So why not leave the city? Was he sick of running? Surely he could have just chosen a 3-star hotel somewhere in the LES for much cheaper. Was he still trying to impress me?

We approached our room and Jack quickly swiped our key card. I wished we were staying here under different circumstances, one where I could actually be excited about staying in the Ritz Carlton. Sure, I had stayed in fancy hotels before, but this one was iconic. I was also wondering why I wasn’t more scared as I walked into the gorgeous room, alone with Jack at last.

Jack finally let go of my hand and quickly took a seat at the foot of the bed. He didn’t bother to look around the room, get a quick tour to see where everything was. His only focus was on me. I stood frozen in front of the closed door, watching him intently, nervously.

“Sit,” Jack patted the bed beside him.

I felt my legs move, an automatic response to his commands. I sat next to him and looked down at my hands. I didn’t know if he wanted me to look at him or not.

“How did Michael find you?” Jack cut straight to the point.

“He was at Emily’s when we went to her apartment. She told me she needed to get some jewelry for a date she had with Adam. And then they just…” I trailed off.Do I tell him the truth?

“So he and Emily coordinated this together?” he interrogated, his voice oddly calm.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Please, don’t be mad at her. I think she and Michael just wanted me to talk. I don’t think they planned for me to leave. I don’t know,” I answered, my voice shaking. I was still too afraid to look him in the eye.

He was now clearly angry. “Soyouwere the one that decided to leave?”

I finally looked up at him. “No, it just happened! I don’t know how it happened. I was confused. I was confused about my feelings when I was around Michael. Nothing made sense,” I cried out, tears streaming down my face.

Jack’s face went from angry to sad in an instant.

“You said you wanted a divorce, Hana,” he said quietly, the sorrow on his face real, the only thing that he took from our earlier phone conversation.

I quickly shook my head. “I don’t want that,” I whispered, putting my hand onto his.

Our dynamic of me having to comfort him was back. I was consoling the wild animal now.

“You said you would never leave me and then you did,” he whispered back, tears pooling in his eyes.

There he was. There was my Jack.

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