Page 211 of Don't Leave Me

“I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I’m not going anywhere,” I said soothingly, bringing his hand that held onto mine to my lips.

Jack stared at me for a moment, I’m sure lost deep in his thoughts, wondering if he could really trust me again. I was back in survival mode, doing everything I could to make sure Jack was happy, that he wouldn’t change his mind and go back to the Double Tree in Jersey and massacre everyone that I ever loved.

“You know I can never let you out of my sight again, Hana,” Jack said quietly after several long moments.

I nodded immediately. “I know. I understand.”

“And you’re never going to be alone with Emily again. I can’t say you won’t ever see her again – that’s nearly impossible. But no more of your little outings with her. No more going off on your own,” he explained sternly, his face tense and bitter.

I nodded again. I expected this. I almost expected him to say I could never see her again, and the relief that he didn’t say that almost made me get on the ground and kiss his feet with gratitude. And then I realized – he had no idea that Billie was involved with any of this. I wouldn’t tell him that either. Maybe I still had a chance to see Billie again as well. I put it out of my mind that I would ever get to see Michael again. I couldn’t think of that right now. I had to think of the present. If I thought about him, I may have tried to off myself. I couldn’t think about how miserable he was going to be without me. I just wanted him to stay alive. And that meant that I had to stay away from him.

Jack paused, watching me, his hand still tightly held onto mine.

“I brought you here because I wanted to remind you of how good you have it with me. That our lives don’t have to be boring and we don’t have to be stuck in one place. We don’t have to stay cooped up in the loft. We can travel the world together, Hana. We can stay for a week at some bougie hotel and pretend we’re royalty. We can fly to Spain and spend a month on the beach. You are not being punished with this life with me, Hana. You don’t have to be tied to the bed in the loft all day. You just have to love me, and stay with me.”

Jack chose every word carefully, watching my reaction as he spoke, his face only inches from mine. So this is what this was all about. Hewasstill trying to impress me. He wanted to show me thathehad money too. He wanted to show me thathecould provide for me too.

“I don’t need any of that, Jack. I am perfectly content being with you, wherever you are,” I said, knowing exactly what he wanted to hear.

“Then show me,” he said stubbornly, raising his eyebrows.

“I will,” I nodded.

He smiled at me faintly, then got up from the bed and held out his hand for me. “Let’s shower. We need a fresh, clean start.”

* * *

EMILY.

The details of Hana’s last six weeks with Jack were enough to justify my insomnia as I laid on the queen bed of the hotel room, only three floors below where she and Michael were staying. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t see it all along – I thought I knew my best friend, my cousin, my partner in crime. I thought I would be able to sense her distress, her anxiety, the horror of a life she was living with Jack. They just seemedsoin love sometimes it was sickening. I was there for their wedding. I was there when she made the speech about how in love with him she was. I was there when they were together at their reception party, all over each other, in their own little world as they danced to the perfect, slow love song. I just couldn’t believe she was going through that the whole time – she was living a double life. And I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she absolutely did not want to call the police on him. Hekidnappedher. He hit her – multiple times. He forced her to marry him. He had done things to her without her consent. It was maddening to think that he was justoutthere in the city, able to continue to live his life unscathed while Hana dealt with this all on her own. And the fact that Adam was his best friend as well. How did Adam not know about any of this? How was I going to continue to go on seeing him, basically living with him, knowing his best friend was an abusive, manipulative piece of shit? I couldn’t go to the police and confess everything for Hana. Why would they believe me? They didn’t believe Michael or Billie when they went to them. They had to hear it from Hana herself. And she justwouldn’tdo it. Why, Hana…why?

I stared at the clock on the bedside table: 10:45 PM. I gave Adam a quick excuse about Hana needing me, how she and Jack were having problems and that I would be home eventually. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. He didn’t have trust issues: he was perfectly fine with me having a girl’s night with Hana. He understood. He was civil and tried to keep the peace when Jack was freaking out about Hana going missing. He was so calm and collected. He was so smart and funny and sweet and level-headed – why was he friends with Jack?

I jumped when I heard frantic knocks on the door. My first thought was that it was Hana, in trouble somehow. I ran to the door and looked out the peephole. I immediately opened the door.

“Michael, what’s wrong?” I asked frantically, searching Michael’s face, realizing he had a swollen right eye.

“Jack came to our room. He knocked me out. And Hana - Hana’s gone,” his voice was shaking and his eyes were wide with worry.

My heart sank.No. “Oh my god.”

I re-read the note over and over. It was Hana’s writing – that was for sure. But why would she leave? She had to, didn’t she? She had no other choice. But how did Jack find her? Did she call him, tell him where they were? Was she brainwashed? Was that why she didn’t want to go to the police? Was she…was shereallyin love with Jack? Why leave my apartment with Michael if she didn’t want to be with him though? Was she confused again? I had so many questions, and Michael was quiet as we sat in the suite, both of us defeated. We didn’t know what to do. We didn’t know whether this was really Hana’s choice or if she was forced by Jack, yet again. We didn’t want to go to Jack’s place for fear that he would retaliate, or that Hana’s wishes weren’t granted.

“Wait, Hana wrote thatyoushould stay far away…she didn’t say anything aboutme,” I thought aloud, perking up.

Michael looked up at me with sad eyes.

“I guess it’s worth a try,” he shrugged, his hands clenched together.

I knew he was on the verge of giving up. He believed that Hana left on her own free will. He thought that since she didn’t want to go to the police, that it was a sign that she was unsure of her decision going back to him. Even after hearing of all the psychological and physical abuse she endured from Jack, Michael really thought that Hana had chosen Jack over him. At this point, even I didn’t know what to believe.

I sighed as I grabbed my phone and dialed Jack. When it went directly to voicemail, I wasn’t surprised.

“Fuck,” I threw my phone on the bed, angry that my plan didn’t work immediately.

“I think we should inform Billie on what’s going on,” Michael said after a few moments, still sulking in the corner of the room on a chair.

I sighed again and crossed my arms. “Yeah,” I exhaled.

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