Page 62 of Don't Leave Me

I quickly shook my head, sitting up. “No. I’m giving you the truth. I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into,” I explained.

As I said the words, I realized I was making myself sound like a serial killer. I had to explain further.

Jack sat up as well before I spoke again, his face still puzzled.

“I have bipolar disorder and I’m supposed to take medication and I forget sometimes, and I drink which doesn’t help either, but I’m not like…crazycrazy, I just get a little hyped up sometimes, like really talkative and hypersexual and – “ I stopped myself, realizing I was talking in one long, quick sentence.

Jack didn’t seem spooked. He actually smiled to himself a little.

“That doesn’t worry me, Hana,” he shook his head, putting his hand on top of mine. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’ve got quite a few problems myself,” he went on, shrugging.

I was instantly relieved. I sighed and nodded, laughing a little bit. “It does make me feel better,” I joked.

He gave me his crooked smile and kissed my shoulder.

“I’m supposed to be taking medication as well, for depression,” he admitted, his voice soft as he looked up at me through his eyelashes. “And I’m not supposed to be drinking either. I’m supposed to be sober…” he trailed off.

Oh. Oh, shit. I suddenly wanted to wrap him in my arms and kiss his forehead.

“I was addicted to heroin for several years. Went to rehab a few times. Overdosed twice,” he explained, looking down and ashamed as he spoke.

Holy crap. He’s damaged too. I want to fix him, I want to make him happy.

“You’re clean now, though?” I questioned gently, trying to get him to look up at me.

He nodded, biting down nervously on his lower lip as he looked up at me with guilt clear on his face.

“Two years in January,” he answered.

Thank god.I sighed and turned my hand upside down, letting his palm fall into mine as I interlocked our fingers.

“Good,” I said softly with a smile.

Jack surveyed my face nervously but appeared to be a little relieved as he smiled back at me.

“So there we have it. Our deepest, darkest secrets out in the open,” he observed, laying down and tugging me back down with him.

As I lay next to him, looking into his soft blue eyes, I realized that I liked him even more now. I could see myself cuddling with him, laughing with him, having fun with him and sharing our art and passion and minds together.

I widened my eyes with humor. “So you still like me then?”

He chuckled to himself and kissed me gently. “Yes. I still like you, quite a lot,” he nodded.

I smiled, but before I could respond, my phone began to buzz on the bedside table; I rolled my eyes but grabbed it anyway. I was relieved to see it was Emily.

“Hey,” I answered, glancing back at Jack.

“Hey, Han. Where are you?” Emily asked worriedly.

“I’m at Jack’s,” I answered honestly – I knew she would approve.

“Oooooh,” she replied, a smile in her voice. “Well, I hate to interrupt, but I need you here at my place. The movers just brought my shit from Philly and I need help!” she moaned.

I smiled. “Alright,” I sighed. “I’ll be there in a little bit,” I assured her.

“Thank you, banana! See you soon!” she said and hung up.

Jack looked at me with curiousity.

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