Page 76 of Don't Leave Me

I walked into our apartment and already knew Billie was home – the TV was on and it smelled like toast, and I found her reading and lounging on the couch.

“Hey, you’re home early,” she observed, putting her book down.

I sighed and set down my purse on the dining table. “Yeah. Michael let me come home,” I started to explain as I made my way to the couch next to her.

“How’s that going?” she asked with concern, noticing my hesitation.

I smiled a little bit. “It’s going really great,” I nodded. “So great that…he asked me to come stay with him,” I explained cautiously.

Billie frowned and sat up, giving me her familiar concerned expression.

“Staywith him? As in…move in with him?” Her tone was obviously disapproving.

“Yeah,” I responded quietly. “Why do you say it like that?” I defended, feeling a little hurt; I always sought out her approval.

Billie sighed heavily. I knew she was about to speak her mind whether I liked it or not.

“It’s just…you two seem to have such a wavering and tumultuous relationship. I just think this is all moving way too fast,” she shook her head at me.

I could see why she was concerned; just the day before I was crying over him and in the arms of another man. But now that I knew that he loved me, all of my insecurities and apprehension vanished.

I shrugged and looked down at my hands. “Maybe we are moving fast, but I really,reallylove him, Billie,” I said as I looked up at her through my lashes.

I could tell she wasn’t swayed, but she gave me a small smile anyway.

“As long as you’re happy,” she shrugged, her forehead wrinkled.

I nodded and smiled. “I’m happy.”

She sighed as she gave me a big hug, and suddenly I felt mournful, like I was losing something. I had lived with Billie for the last 6 years and now I was leaving so suddenly. I would no longer walk into my apartment and find Billie lounging on the couch, or making breakfast for dinner, or making some weird sculpture with clay.It’s okay…this isn’t over, I kept telling myself.And I get to wake up to and go to sleep with Michael every day; I think that’s a pretty good deal.

As I started eyeing my closet, overwhelmed with the amount of packing I had to do, Billie greeted Emily at the door. I heard muffled chatter, finding it odd that they were even chatting in the first place, then poked my head out of my bedroom to see what they were up to: it sounded like they were arguing, albeit quietly.

“I just don’t think she’s thinking clearly. I mean, you out of all people know how impulsive she can be,” I heard Billie, almost whispering.

Emily scoffed. “Hana’s just passionate, and she’s finally found love and doing what’s making her happy. You need to stop acting like her mother,” she argued.

I smiled a little.

“I don’t know why I’m confiding in you; you’re the most erratic and precarious person in the world,” Billie quickly snapped.

This is when I decided to step in; I opened my door widely and pretended to be completely oblivious.

“Hey!” I smiled to Emily.

Emily was still rightfully angry; she looked over at me with a scowl.

“Hey. Let me help you pack,” she said flatly and marched into my room, closing the door behind us.

“You okay?” I asked, not wanting to take any sides but definitely siding with Emily – the side that I wanted to hear the most.

“Yeah,” she sighed, then forced a smile. “So tell me all about this moving in thing with Michael,” she raised an eyebrow and gave me a dimpled smile.

I started to explain to her how Michael and I made up and about the whole Jack thing but leaving out the part where Michael set specific “rules” for me – I wasn’t ready to explain that aspect of our relationship to anyone; besides, it was no one’s business but mine and Michael’s.

“The best part about this is that you’re gonna be even closer to me,” Emily smiled cleverly, looking through my closet.

I smiled up at her as I lazily took some books off my bookshelf.

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