Page 23 of Don't Leave Me

Michael stared at me, seeming to be in deep thought, or maybe concluding that Iwasexpecting too much from him. I was justtoo muchfor him.

“I mean…maybe that’s too much to ask for,” I whispered, feeling a lump in my throat.

Michael was still quiet. Did I really just actually render the confident Michael speechless?

I nodded. I was upset. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was him pushing me away. I removed my hand from his and stood up, feeling like a complete fool. I didn’t bother to say anything as I opened his office door and slammed it behind me. Not only was I feeling foolish, but I was angry. Why couldn’t he just open up and let me in? Why couldn’t I be the one to make himwantto do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing? Why was he so god damn beautiful and mysterious?

I picked up my work, put my Macbook in my purse and grabbed my jacket, fuming and hurt and on the verge of tears.I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here.

“Hana, are you okay?” I heard Cassie ask as I quickly gathered my things.

“Yeah,” I nodded, faking a smile at her, then quickly walked down the hall, looking forward and heading to the elevators.

I started to cry as soon as I was alone in the elevator.I’m an idiot. Why couldn’t I just accept our crazy hot love affair as what it was and be happy with that? Why did I have to scare him away like that?

I put my sunglasses on as soon as I exited the elevator, guarding my watery eyes and running mascara from the world, walking quickly to the train station and just wanting to curl up in bed at home. Thankfully, Billie was at work when I got home which allowed me to openly cry and feel sorry for myself as I closed the blinds, turned off my phone, and pulled my bed covers over my head.Maybe it’s better off this way, to end things before I really started to get feelings for him. Ha, who am I kidding? I’m already crazy about him. I just wanted to make him happy. I just wanted to please him…

“Hana?” I heard Billie call out for me.

It was dark outside – I cried myself to sleep at some point. I heard Billie’s footsteps coming towards my room, and soon enough she was opening my door and flipping on the lights.

“Han, what’s wrong?” I heard Billie ask, my head still under the covers.

“I’m too needy,” I moaned out, my voice cracking.

Billie pulled off the covers.“What?” she asked worriedly.

My eyes were shut tightly but I already knew the look on her face – she constantly worried about me.

She laid down beside me. “Hana, what’s wrong?”

I finally opened my eyes. Billie stared at me with her big brown sad eyes, ready to listen.

“I asked too much from Michael. I scared him away. I’m such an idiot,” I shook my head, a lump in my throat.

“What? You’re no idiot, my dear,” Billie defended, furrowing her brows.

“He told me what he wanted and I should have listened. I wanted too much from him,” I ignored her.

Billie narrowed her eyes at me. “Hana, you can’t control how you feel about someone. It’s okay to feel this way. If he didn’t want what you wanted, it’s best to end things now,” she advised me, her voice soft.

I nodded. It still hurt nonetheless.

“And I know someone else who really, really likes you,” she raised her eyebrows, smiling.

I couldn’t help but give her a little smile – her smile really was infectious.

“Do you want me to make you some tea? Some soup? Run you a warm bath?” she went on, always knowing how to cheer me up.

I sighed. “I’m gonna take a bath. You’re welcome to make me some soup if you want,” I smiled as begrudgingly lifted myself up.

“You got it, my love!” she exclaimed, getting up from my bed and happily walking into the kitchen.

I tried to calm my thoughts as I immersed myself in the hot bath, my body feeling weak and tired.Best to end things now, I sighed to myself.How am I supposed to not look at Michael without my heart dropping to my stomach? How am I supposed to see him every day without not wanting to pounce on him, only after he ordered me to?

I didn’t think of anything when I heard a knock on the front door; I figured it was John there to see Billie. I heard muffled talking and jumped when the bathroom door opened, Billie poking her head in.

“Michaelis here,” she raised her eyebrows, walking in and shutting the door behind her.

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