Page 51 of Die For Me

My heart dropped.

“Why doessheknow about it, Michael?” I turned to him.

Michael clenched his jaw. “You and I weren’t together anymore, Hana. I made some bad decisions. I’m not proud of myself,” he answered defensively.

As much as he was right, I still felt a pang of jealousy. But what right did I have? Here I was asking for both of them.

Jack cleared his throat. “Do you want to continue with that story, Michael? About what you did to poor Jackie?”

I could tell he was having a good time patronizing him. Tears started pooling in my eyes. Whatever it was, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. My heart started to bang in my ribcage as I stared at Michael expectantly.

Michael sighed and shook his head. “This is where you’re wrong, Jack,” he started then turned to me. “She told Jessica that I tied her up and cut my name into her. That’s absolutely not true. I told you how she got when we were dating, Hana.”

“Nope,” Jack butted in. “No, Hana darling. The truth aboutthat—well, Michael was pretty awful to Jackie. Weren’t you?” He turned to Michael then back to me, not letting him answer. “He made her comply whether she wanted to or not. She tried tobreak things off and that’s when he tied her up and carved his name onto her thefirsttime. Poor thing. He said he wanted to ruin her for any other man. He also threatened to ruin her life if she ever told anyone.”

I was speechless. I shook my head at Michael as a tear fell down my cheek.

“Hana, you know that’s not true.” He shook his head at me, disgust apparent in his face. “Are you going to believe someone who fuckingkidnappedyou?”

Jack immediately chimed in. “You’re going to believe someone who fucking put a knife to your throat and threatened to kill youashe fucked you? Hana, that’s fucking heinous and you know that!”

My head spun as I tried to process everything. “Shut up, both of you!” My breathing was heavy and shaky.

They both looked at me with wide, angry eyes. I didn’t know who to believe. Was I really going to believe Jackie’s word against Michael’s? But what if Jackie was telling the truth? He admitted to cutting my name into himself. He likes to tie up his subs. If he had gone “mad,” what was to stop him from doing all of those things?

“I need to talk to each of you alone. Michael.” I took his hand and guided us toward his room.

“Remember everything he’s been doing to you lately, Hana,” Jack called as we went up the stairs.

I closed the door behind us, and Michael started pacing around the room.

“Please just tell me the truth, Michael. I will try to understand if you tell me something I don’t want to hear,” I said quietly as I sat on his bed.

He stopped pacing and put his hand to his beard quickly. “I don’t know what I did, Hana. Honestly, I drank so much that I blacked out. But you need to believe me, Hana. I wouldn’t dosomething like that,” he explained with tears in his eyes. He got on his knees in front of me, holding onto my waist for dear life. “Please, Hana. I can’t let you leave me again. You can’t believe what they’re saying.” He started sobbing into my stomach, clenching my shirt with his fists.

“Okay, baby,” I whispered, crying along with him; my heart hurt so badly at the sight of him like this. I looked down and took his face in my hands, looking at the despair in his eyes. Did I believe him? What if he really did do those horrible things? Was this his guilt seeping through? But who was I to judge when I fell in love with someone who kidnapped me? But…these horrible things weren’t happening to me. I could forgive the things that were done to me. But what if this poor Jackie wasn’t “crazy” after all?

I took Michael’s hand and led him onto the bed. I wasn’t in any mood for sex; I wanted genuine cuddling and connection time with him. And when he continued to sob into my chest as we lay in bed, I started to believe that everything he was saying was true.

* * *

I didn’t sleep much after that. Jack moved around the apartment loudly; I had left him hanging, but I felt like Michael needed me more at that moment. When Michael finally let go of me during his sleep, I rolled out of bed and went to search the apartment for Jack. I found him in his room, hovering over a canvas with a paintbrush in his hand.

“Jack,” I greeted him quietly.

He looked up at me quickly, his face void of emotion, then looked right back down at his painting.

I walked closer and sat down next to the canvas; I realized it was an outline of my face, my eyes looking right back at me.

“You’re painting me?” I smiled, already flattered. He had never painted me before, and I didn’t know why it never crossed my mind.

He pointed at a sketch next to the canvas and it finally dawned on me what he was painting: It was me giving a blowjob, with great detail, right down to the highlights of each strand of my hair. I immediately rolled my eyes;should I still be flattered?I didn’t say anything as I stood and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, just wanting him to talk to me.

“Baby,” I whispered.

“No, Hana. I don’t want ‘baby’ right now. I’m fucking livid,” he spit out, shaking me off his shoulders.

“Livid?” I questioned. “Why? Because I spent a couple of hours with Michael?”

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