Page 52 of Die For Me

Jack threw down his paintbrush, red splattering all over the canvas. He turned around to face me, his eyes filled with resentment as he stared down at me. “No, Hana. Because my own wife doesn’t believe me when I tell her that the other dick she’s sucking is actually ahugefucking psychopath.”

I shook my head and crossed my arms. “I don’t know what to believe, Jack. I don’t think Jackie is a very reliable source,” I bit back.

Jack let out a forced laugh. “You’re delusional if you believe for a second that he wouldn’t actually do that.” He narrowed his eyes at me angrily.

My face twisted into an ugly cry, a panic attack on the horizon. “What if I do believe it?” I whispered, throwing my hands into the air. “We all do terrible shit, Jack. You should know that.”

His eyes popped wide open, and his jaw went slack.

“Hana.” He shook his head, putting his hands to the sides of my arms. “What if he was going to do that with you? What if I had never come? What would your fucking excuse be then?”

I felt sick to my stomach. Jack always told me the truth, whether it was something I wanted to hear or not. Jack could scare me, he could hit me, he could even fucking force me to marry him so everyone I loved didn’t die. But he always admitted when he was wrong. He admitted to all the horrible shit he did. He didn’t pretend to be a good person. I knew he was trying to tear Michael and I apart; I feared that it was working.

“I don’t know, Jack. I don’t know. I need some sort of evidence. It’s his word against hers,” I finally choked out as I sat on his bed, my whole body shaking.

“God damnit, Hana!” Jack yelled, putting his hands up to his head. “You need evidence? I’ll get your fucking evidence.”

I continued to sob as Jack lifted his shirt off and unbuttoned his jeans. I knew he was getting worked up, and I wanted him to fuck me hard. I scooted back on the bed, wanting him to rip off my clothes. I didn’t want to think anymore, I just wanted to feel good.

“That’s right, my fucking whore. You like seeing me angry? You like getting me all riled up?” he spit out as he tugged down my leggings and underwear in the same motion.

“Yes,” I moaned. “I want you to hurt me.”

“Now that your body is all yours again, it’smine. You want me to hurt you like I did the night of our wedding party?” He hovered over me, his arms on either side of me.

I started to laugh, a surprise even to myself. “Since when does Jack Maynor ask permission for anything?”

The anger in his eyes dissipated instantly and was replaced with a heart wrenching somber stare. “You’re right. I’m just as bad as he is. If not worse.” His eyes widened as he looked from my eyes to his hand beside me.

“No.” I shook my head. “I love you. I love you, Jack. I didn’t mean it like that.” I sat up as he rolled over and lay on his back.

Jack scoffed and eyed me intently. “Then how did you mean it?”

I shook my head again. “I know you’ve done terrible things, Jack. But you own up to them. And I still love you,” I explained, gently circling his chest with the tips of my fingers.

Jack was quiet for a while. “Do you love me more than you love him?” he finally asked, hesitantly waiting for an answer.

My heart ached. Staring at my doe-eyed Jack, I knew what my answer was.

Michael

Jack’s snooping was starting to tear Hana and I apart, I could feel it. That’s why I begged her, begging someone for the first time in my entire life, to believe me…more importantly, to not to leave me.

It was true that I didn’t remember exactly what happened the night Jackie came to my apartment. I was fucking drunk. I did know that I cut myself, desperate to feel something, and Hana’s name started writing itself into my flesh. I remember Jackie coming to my apartment, but I don’t remember why or how she got there. I also know that I tied her up—that memory had been burned into my head since that night. I didn’t want to see her in my mind anymore, it was a waste of time. She was a weak, clingy narcissist and would do anything to drag me down with her.

And of course I did those things when she tried to leave me. I couldn’t have anyone touch what was mine. I might not have liked her, but she was still mine. I knew my name on her skin would garner too many questions and she would be too ashamed to answer them. I knew she would never tell anyone; she was obsessed with me, and despite my cruelty to her, she was in love with me. But I never loved her. I never loved anyone until Hana. That’s why I could never tell her the truth about me and Jackie.

I was more afraid of Hana leaving me than her finding out. If she could forgive Jack for everything he had done, clearly she could forgive me. However, I still needed to get Jackie and Jackout of the picture. Matching names for two despicable people. I knew how I could get rid of Jackie—I could simply tell her to kill herself and she would do it for me. She was obsessed with me and it was fucking exasperating, but I kept stringing her along in case I needed something from her. But I needed to give it some time before I killed Jack—doing it too soon would only make Hana suspicious. I was even going to give her what she wanted from me and Jack. I wanted to appear more compliant so she wouldn’t have any doubts about me or my love for her. My pride got in the way when she first asked, and I immediately shot down her idea. However, if she asked anything of me again, I would do it.

I woke up to an empty bed, as usual. Jack made Hana stay up with him until the sun came up and then they would pass out in his room. I needed to change that, but that was just another thing for me to figure out.

I did my daily morning jog on my treadmill in the apartment’s gym. I lifted weights to get some anger out; it always relieved it just a little bit to the point where I wouldn’t break. I went back to the apartment to shower, trying to figure out how I could meet with Jackie without raising any suspicion from Jack or Hana. I wouldn’t call her, that would leave too much of a paper trail. Maybe I could show up at her place, pretend I finally realized that I was madly in love with her, and then have her do the deed.

When I got out of the shower, I found Hana lying naked and splayed across my bed, her beautiful ass on display as she read a book. She looked up at me and smiled, giving me that lip bite that drove me crazy.

“Come here,” I ordered as I loosened the towel that covered my lower half, letting it drop to the floor.

It was amazing how quickly I could get hard for Hana. She licked her bottom lip as she slithered off the bed, slowly crawledto me, and got onto her knees in front of me. God, I fucking loved her willingness and eagerness to submit to me.

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