Page 57 of Die For Me

Adam nodded, his expression unreadable. “Yes. This is…fucked up.” He stood and walked to the window, observing the spring rain trickling down from the sky. “I feel like I don’t even know who my best friend is.”

I almost regretted telling him. I walked over to him and put my arm around his waist.

“It’s been a fucking rollercoaster the last few months,” I admitted quietly.

“You didn’t have to go through that alone, Emily,” he responded, holding me closer to him.

I scoffed. “Then you guys wouldn’t have made a hit record,” I joked.

Adam eyed me, apparently still not in a joking mood. “I’m serious, Em. I love you. You matter more than any of that.” He held onto me tighter.

I finally let myself cry. The last few months were the most devastating I’d ever had to go through, mostly because I wasgoing through them alone. Even when my mom died, Hana was right by my side. Now I didn’t know whether or not Hana would be on my team anymore. Things were so chaotic with her, so touch and go, that I wondered if the suffering was worth it. And then I remembered she was my blood; she had always been there for me in the hardest of times for my entire life. I knew I had to stick around, whether I agreed with her decisions or not. The tough part would be whether or not she’d let me in…or shut me out all over again.

Jack

I sat at a bougie coffee shop in Chelsea, far from anywhere I would usually hang out. I watched as she walked into the shop with Jessica, our “middle man.” My sister smiled as she spotted me and eagerly walked over, Jackie in tow.

Jackie seemed like a Brooklyn hipster as much as Hana did. Her hair was blonde, perhaps not naturally, with blue tips. She had light eyes, also like Hana. Michael obviously had a type. However, Hana was far superior; Jackie was cute, but Hana was a goddess. And it seemed Jackie was more easily manipulated. She seemed eager. I could see the appeal to her.

Once she found out that I had close contact with Michael, she was very interested in meeting with me, and Jessica set the whole thing up so we could talk right away.

“Hello, brother.” Jessica smiled, outstretching her arms for me as I sat comfortably in my seat. She waited as I begrudgingly stood and gave her a quick hug. Then she turned her attention toward Jackie, putting her hand on her shoulder as if they were great friends. In fact, I didn’t doubt they were friends—Jessica could make friends with a toaster oven.

“Hello.” Jackie smiled at me, almost flirtatiously.

I narrowed my eyes at her as I sat, both of them quickly following.

“So I’m sure my sister has told you why I agreed to meet. You and I both have a problem with someone we know,” I started, setting my folded hands on the table.

Her smile faded quickly. “That’s right. How exactly is he a problem in your life?” She eyed me curiously.

“You don’t need to know that. All I need to know is that you’re telling the truth. May I see, please?” I cut straight to the point, not wanting to waste my time.

She quickly glanced over at Jessica, who only smiled stiffly and nodded.

Jackie looked hesitantly back at me. “Well I can’t exactly show youallof it, unless you want me to pull down my pants and expose myself,” she responded angrily.

“No, but perhaps you can show mesomeproof so I know you’re not a fucking liar.” I glared at her, leaning against the table.

“Jack!” Jessica scolded me, but Jackie put her hand up as if to stop her.

She sighed heavily before taking off her cardigan. She put her right hand on the table. Multiple scars covered her arm, some newer than others, and I could easily read what had been carved into her skin:Michaelon her forearm andsluton her upper arm. It was so fucking hideous that even I had a hard time looking at it.

“It’s on my stomach and legs too,” she stated, almost emotionless, as she put her cardigan back on.

“Why haven’t you reported him to the police?” I questioned suspiciously.

She shook her head and looked down at the table. “Because I love him.”

I knew how ironic this conversation was.

“You do know that he’s back in a relationship with Hana, yes?” I asked, testing her.

She looked up at me with wide eyes. She shook her head as she mouthed “no.” Tears filled her eyes, and I could tell she really was in love with him. I couldn’t judge; Hana loved me, andhim, despite all we had done to her.

“Listen, Jackie,” I said quietly, trying to appear as sympathetic as possible.

She listened intently.

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