Page 14 of Bound To Me

I nodded, tears forming in my eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said with widened eyes.

I laughed, a coping mechanism for any strong feeling. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’re aware that I make self-deprecating jokes to mask how I really feel. As a therapist, I’m sure you can see right through me.” I shrugged.

He shook his head. “This isn’t from a therapist’s perspective. It’s from…me. I know you’re really smart and kind—I can tell that. And funny.” He raised his eyebrows at me playfully. “You’ve told me about your trauma and how you can’t trust anyone. But I think…I think it’s okay to let your guard down sometimes.”

I stared at him, my eyes falling to his lips. My guard was still up and fully locked.Does he always use these lines on women he meets? How do I know he hasn’t said this to a million other women before me?

“I…I can never trust anyone, Elliott. You don’t understand the extent of my trauma. It’s amazing that I even agreed to come have a drink with you,” I admitted, tears pooling in my eyes again.

He nodded. “I’m sorry for upsetting you. Do you think we can still try to have a nice night? Or would you like me to take you back home?” He seemed upset with himself. He wasn’t trying to be pushy, he wasn’t trying to kiss me; he was justtalkingto me. And he was offering me an out.

I sighed then smiled. “I really want to have this drink with you. I think that’s what terrifies me the most.”

His lips slowly curled into a smile. “If at any time I make you uncomfortable, please don’t hesitate to tell me. Or you can just tell me to fuck off. Then I’ll get you an Uber home.”

I shook my head. “Oh, you sweet thing. By the end of the night, I’m sure I’ll have made you more uncomfortable than you’ve ever felt.” I was warning him now; I knew I would probably say too much with some drinks in me.

He laughed and nodded. “We’ll see.”

Then

I endured more abuse from Michael, but I welcomed it—it meant that he paid attention to me. All that I wanted was for him to keep telling me that I was his, and he continued to do so. He would hurt me in some way or another during sex and I would come for him, then he’d come inside of me. I never spent any time with him outside of sex and the aftercare he’d provide, ensuring I remained obsessed with him after he hurt me, stringing me along. He even said that to me while he bathed me one night after using all of my holes for his pleasure.

“One day, you’re not going to be as obsessed with me as you are now. It will be over, and you won’t want to be mine anymore.”

I gasped as I looked up at him sitting at the edge of the tub.

“That will never happen, Daddy. I will love you until the day I die,” I said with tears already flowing down my cheeks, dripping into the bath water.

“No. You will tire of me. It always happens.” He shook his head at me knowingly.

I was getting upset now. “It’s not going to happen with me. I love you more than anything, Daddy.”

Now his jaw was clenching. “You don’t know what love is, Jackie. You’re just a little girl who hangs onto my every word. You don’t even know me.”

I began to tremble. Why was he being so cruel?

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” I asked with frustration.

He looked down at me with absolutely nothing in his eyes. “If I wanted you gone, you’d be gone.”

I somehow found that comforting;I’m still here—I’m still his.

“Why can’t I stay with you? Just for one night?” I was desperate to be in his presence, even when he was spiteful.

He smiled as he pulled the plug from the drain. He liked my desperation. “Those are the rules, baby.”

I stood up as he took a towel and wrapped it around my body. “Can’t we break the rules for just one night?” My whiny voice was repulsive.

“No. The rules are there for a reason,” he said, running his finger gently across my collarbone. “And once they’re broken, nothing will ever be the same.”

Now

Elliott turned the head of every woman as we walked into the bar, searching for a spot to sit. It was packed, and the music was loud, but I liked the relaxed and friendly atmosphere.

“What am I getting you?” Elliott leaned in to ask, and I could smell his clean, crisp cologne.

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