Page 48 of Bound To Me

“He’s trying to get me back. He said he was here to take back what’s his.”

Elliott’s eyebrows lifted as he scoffed. “Is that what he said? That motherfucker,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

The light turned green.

“I think he’s right, Elliott,” I murmured, feeling like I was punched in the gut. “I think I am his. I wanted to go with him tonight, but I snapped out of it. But deep down, I wanted to go.”

Why am I telling him this?

Elliott only shook his head and clenched his jaw. My gaze kept steadily on him.

“Baby, he put you through so much. He fucked with your mind. I’m sure seeing him again stirred up all kinds of feelings but I know you would never get back with him; you’re stronger than that now.”

I rolled my eyes. He didn’t know me at all. I wasn’t strong; I would always be weak, naive, sweet Jackie.

“I’m at the Hollywood Hotel, just before your house,” I said, ignoring him.

He kept quiet as we continued to drive east.

“Can we talk?” His voice sounded sad and defeated.

“About you working with Michael?” I asked, the anger from earlier bubbling back into my chest.

He sighed heavily. “Will you let me explain?”

I shrugged and crossed my arms as I looked out the window.

“I got a call from him a few days before we met on the plane,” he began, and I resisted every urge to yell that he stalked me onto the plane. “He told me that he wanted to know what an ex-girlfriend was up to. I figured he just wanted to reconnect with an old flame and see if she was involved with anyone. So I looked into you—the very basics. I knew your name, where you lived in New York, where you worked. I spoke with some of your old co-workers and they told me you were moving to LA. I figured out what flight you were taking and got the seat next to you. All I planned to do was make friendly conversation, but you seemed to hate me from the beginning, which surprised me since I didn’t realize why. I planned to give Michael the simple information I gathered—that you had moved to LA. And I gave you my card because I actually wanted to get to know you; it wasn’t under the guise of trying to gather information on you. And then…then I instantly fell in love with you. And when I found out what he did to you, I told him I wasn’t going to work for him and gave him his money back. He started harassing you, and I figured out that he blocked me when I tried to confront him. Then he began harassing both of us and…and now here we are.”

I blinked back tears as I continued to look out the window, unable to face him. I wanted to reach over and tell him I was scared, that he was the only person in the world who made me feel safe, even after what I had learned. I wanted to tell him that I loved him so fucking much and that he made me feel so lovedand wanted. But instead, I stewed in my anger and fear, knowing that my instincts had led me down the wrong path over and over again.

Elliott kept quiet as we approached my hotel. He quickly got out and opened my door for me, then took my hand; I gave in and held onto his. I stopped before we entered the lobby, looking up at him and shaking my head.

“Please. I need some time. You’re close; if anything happens, I’ll call you right away.”

He looked like he was about to cry, or worse…that he was scared.

“At least let me walk you to your room,” he pleaded.

I shook my head again. “You need a card to get in every door. It’s safe. I’ll be fine.”What great famous last words.

Elliott gulped and then softly squeezed my hand. “I love you, Jacqueline.”

I nodded. “I know.”I love you too. I let go of his hand, swiped my card for the lobby door, and quickly walked in, tears streaming down my face.

I sluggishly walked into the elevator, went up to my floor, and swiped the key to my room.

Heat rose to my cheeks and fear consumed my body once I shut the door behind me and realized I wasn’t alone. He sat on the lone arm chair beside the bed with a devious glare and a smile on his face.

“Hello, sweet Jackie.”

Then

Months went by with radio silence from Michael. I had given up on him, only because I had no other choice. I tried to blackmail him and failed miserably. I tried to make him love me but I couldn’t. I continued to watch him and Hana from afar and drank myself into oblivion. I watched as they moved into a fancy condo in Chelsea. I saw the ring on Hana’s finger as they went out on dates. I watched as they met at Battery Park during lunch hour, making out in front of everyone as they sat on a bench in the tree-lined park. Michael would glance over his shoulder and glare at me, then wrap his arm snugly around Hana. I was crushed; I was never going to get him back, and I wanted to die. I had nothing; I had no one. I was far too fucked up to be able to continue my life. I would never be happy, not without him.

But one cold February night, as I sat on the floor of my dimly lit room, tipping back a 40 oz bottle and feeling the burn of the alcohol down my throat, my phone began to buzz. My heart nearly stopped when I saw who was calling. A wave of nausea hit me, and I almost puked. With trembling hands, I instantly answered.

“Michael?” My voice cracked.

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