Page 55 of Bound To Me

I suddenly felt a sense of relief, or did it just make me happy to know that Michael spoke about me?

“So you’ve heard of me.”

She only nodded. She seemed frightened, and I suddenly felt extremely guilty. I needed her to know that I wasn’t the enemy—Michael was.

“I was supposed to approach you at the Bowery next week, but I couldn’t wait any longer. Especially since you just showed up here.” My eyes began to fill with tears as my heart raced.

She shook her head as her eyebrows twitched. “You were going to the show?”

I nodded and began to play with the ring that Michael had given me. “Jack asked me to approach you there.”

“Why did he want you to approach me?” She was clearly angry.

“Like I said, I need to tell you something about Michael.”

My hands shook as I rolled up the sleeves of my oversized sweater. I glanced up at Hana, and tears began to fall down her cheeks. Did she somehow know what I was going to show her? I held out my forearm that had “slut” scarred into it; I showed her the other side, the one with “Michael” on it.

“No,” she whispered, visibly trembling.

I had to show her everything. I lifted my sweater over my head to give her a better, unobstructed view.

“Michael did this to me,” I explained as I revealed more scars on my stomach. “He did it on my thighs too. Just here.” I tugged down my pajama pants, uncovering the damage he did to my lower half.

“Oh my God,” she breathed out. I looked up and saw her hands covering her mouth, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

I pulled my pants back up and I knew I had succeeded—she believed me.

“I’m so sorry that he did that to you, Jackie. I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Hana. Michael did this. And I stayed with him and keep running back to him because I’m a fucking idiot. I just hope you’re smarter than me because I don’t want him to hurt you.”

She was shaking her head, hiccuping between her sobs. “No, Jackie. He’s a master manipulator. You are not an idiot. I just can’t…” She trailed off, staring past my head. “I can’t believe he did this. I believe you, I just… I’m heartbroken. I’m devastated.”

I nodded. “You have every right to be.”

I was surprised when she reached out her hand to my shoulder and gave me a look of sympathy. “I’m sorry. I don’tmean to make this about me. Jackie… thank you so much for telling me this.”

She reached in for a hug and I immediately hugged her back, relief flooding my body. We both began to cry and I realized that even in the absolute horror show I endured, I took solace in knowing that I no longer needed to go through it alone.

Now

What is wrong with me? Why am I still hanging on to every word Michael says? Didn’t I learn anything? Didn’t my years of therapy help at all? And aren’t the fucking scars he gave me supposed to be a warning, a reminder of what he’s capable of?I knew that deciding to be with Michael went against everything my brain told me to do. I was entirely aware of how fucking idiotic and dangerous this was. But I kept on doing it anyway.

I silently sat on the couch as Michael worked on his laptop. All I could think of was Elliott’s poor, heartbroken face. I did that to him. If I didn’t hate myself before, I certainly did now.

“Did you speak to your boss? Tell her you’re not coming in anymore?” Michael asked, pulling me out of my internal pity party.

I shook my head. “No. I need my phone.”

He sighed heavily, still looking at his laptop screen. “I’ll call for you.”

Oh God. Lauren is going to know something is up, especially if Meg told her about my abusive ex-boyfriend.But all I did was nod and smile. “Thank you, Daddy.”

I wanted to be his perfect, submissive, good girl. My internal dialogue had nothing on what physically pulled me to Michael like a fucking magnet. I could hate him all I wanted, but I still wanted to please him.

Michael turned to me and smiled. Fuck, I lived for that smile. “Of course, baby girl. Come here.” He patted his lap as he swiveled his chair toward me.

I quickly stood up and obeyed, sitting down on his lap with my back to him. Feeling Michael’s erection grow underneath my ass sent a wave of satisfaction throughout my body. His hands began to scan my body, his fingers softly grazing my bare skin underneath my shirt. My heart began to race with desire as he pinched my nipple.

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