Page 69 of Bound To Me

The truth was, I was scared shitlessandI wasn’t confident in myself. I fucked up everything else in my life—what was stopping me from not fucking upthistime?

Elliott shook his head at himself and wrapped his arms around me. “No, don’t be sorry.I’msorry. I won’t keep questioning you. You’re the strongest person I know; I know you can do this.”

I sighed as I looked up and stared at his earnest, sweet expression; I found it ironic since we were talking about murder. His piercing blue eyes looked at me with such confidence that I almost believed his words.

“How are you okay with all of this? With the things I’ll have to do to make this work?”

He seemed to think for a moment. “Because if it means getting rid of Michael for good, then it’s worth it.”

The amount of pressure I felt to do this right weighed heavily on my shoulders.

“And the code word again?” I asked for what seemed to be the 70th time.

Elliott gave me a sad smile. “Red.”

Now

I lost track of how long I was in that room. At some point, the sun had risen and fallen, and the room was pitch black again. Michael had only entered once to put a bucket in the corner. “I don’t want you making a mess of our new house,” he spat out bitterly as he set down a bowl of water next to me. “For my pet.” He didn’t want me dead, but he also didn’t want to give me the courtesy of using the bathroom, eating, or drinking water with dignity. He was degrading me and he was taking pleasure in it. I’m sure he thought that would break me, but I had been through worse.

Elliott was in my ear most of the time, repeatedly asking if he needed to get me out of there, but I knew I needed to stay—that was the only way I would be close enough to get the job done.

“Talk to me, Jacqueline,” Elliott gently said after a long stretch of silence.

My parents were the first thing that came to mind. Being left alone with my thoughts led me to places I rarely visited, except during therapy.

“I miss my mom,” I said, my breath trembling.

There was a pause for a moment before he responded. “Tell me about her.”

Her soft features, blonde hair, and brown eyes immediately popped into my head. I remembered the comforting smell of her as I laid my tiny head on her chest and her quiet voice singing alullaby as she sat next to me on my bed. Tears pricked my eyes as I hummed along, a sting gnawing at my chest.

“She was very sweet, and she was so loving. I see a lot of myself in her, especially since we both endured so much violence and stayed with our abusers.” A tear fell down my cheek. “I never knew how strong she was until I went through all of this. I wish she would’ve put my dad out of his fucking misery; anyone who hurts people like he and Michael do must be so fucking miserable.”

Elliott was quiet before he spoke. “She would be proud of you, Jacqueline. You’re an amazing woman.”

My chest constricted. I wanted to make her proud by doing what she should have done to my dad. But she didn’t—she couldn’t. I knew she probably didn’t want to break up our little family; even as a small child, I loved my dad. He wasn’t a very involved father, but any attention I got from him felt like the world to me. And I knew that you could love someone deeply and unconditionally, even if they hurt you. But this was different; Michael couldn’t go on with this any longer. I wasn’t worried about getting caught—this was just something I knew had to happen. I had experienced enough trauma in my twenty-eight years to not give a fuck about the consequences of my planned actions.

I jumped when the bedroom door flung open, Michael’s dominating presence filling the room. My eyes stung from the bright hallway light streaming through the door frame. I watched as Michael’s silhouette glided toward me, his bare feet nearly soundless on the hardwood floor.

“Jackie.” His voice was so soft that I barely heard him.

“Yes, Daddy?” I answered in the same tone.

He leaned down to untie my ankles first, my heart racing as I watched him finish before he moved up to my wrists. He finally removed my collar and tossed it on the floor.

“You’ve been such a good girl, sweet Jackie. Clean up your waste and I’ll bathe you in our bathroom.”

I sluggishly got to my knees and lifted myself up with my palms. Michael stood and watched as I grabbed the bucket of piss, then followed me down the hall to the guest bathroom. I flushed my waste down the toilet and looked under the bathroom cabinet for a cleaning solution. Surprisingly, it was well stocked with all the necessities. I wondered if Michael had shopped for them or if they were left by the previous owners. He remained silent as I cleaned the bucket and washed my hands.

“Good girl,” he praised, taking my hand and leading me out of the bathroom and down the stairs to the main bedroom. The room was bare apart from a dresser and a king-sized bed. Michael flicked on the bathroom light and started running water in the large bathtub that sat beside a window. My stomach dropped as I watched him take off his joggers, then his boxer briefs. Even after the isolation punishment, where I had spent every waking moment hating him, my pussy still pulsed at the sight of his naked body.

He gestured to the tub. “After you, baby.”

My weak legs lifted over the porcelain as goosebumps prickled my body upon submerging my feet in the warm water. I kept my eyes fixed on the bottom of the tub as I lowered the rest of my body, pulling my knees close to my chest. I could see Michael entering the tub in front of me but I didn’t dare meet my eyes with his.

He stopped the faucet and grabbed some body wash from the side of the tub. He lathered it in his hands before pulling my body close to his, turning me around and positioning my back against his chest. My heart raced as he began to rub my breasts with the soap, squeezing gently. I felt his erection grow on my lower back and guilt washed over me as excitement twinged between my legs. Somewhere deep in my core, I wanted him tosuddenly change; I wanted him to do a complete 180 and start to become a decent human being so I wouldn’t have to end his life. I had spent years loving him, and as much as I hated him, I would have preferred tonotkill him.

“So tell me, sweet Jackie. Did you have enough time to think about all the ways you wronged Daddy?” His hot breath against my ear sent shivers down my spine.

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