Page 68 of His Red Carnation

“I, um…I heard about your past with Callan. About when…you two were together,” I began.

Her expression hardened and she crossed her arms as she sat back. “Okay. And?” She was already defensive.

I shook my head slightly. “I just want to know what happened that night,” I answered honestly.

She stared at me for a moment before her expression softened, and she looked down at her desk in front of her.

“I was a drunk too, you know,” she began as her gaze lifted to meet mine. “I was young. Not as young as you but…” She raised her eyebrows, as if she was judging me—there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she thought the age difference between me and Callan was weird too. “But I was young and fucking stupid. And Callan was all I had, you know? I didn’t have any family, no friends—no one. And even though our relationship was toxic, I was in love. And when he told me he was going to leave me, that he was gonna get clean and get far away from me, I panicked.”

My stomach dropped.

“I was drunk, and I started screaming at him, hitting him, pushing him and egging him on. Iwantedhim to do something, you know? But he didn’t budge. He pulled me off of him and I kept going. I was so fucking mad when he locked himself in the bathroom, that I fucking drove to my friend’s house and called the military police.” She lowered her eyes again. “We were on base, and I thought they’d kick him out of the military, and he’d be stuck with me. I fucking lied because I was scared. I was terrified of being alone.” She glanced back up at me, tearswelling in her eyes. “And since then, I’ve been scared to tell the truth, because I fucking ruined his life. It kinda ruined mine too.”

I didn’t even realize tears were streaming down my face.

“I got clean a few years later, and I wanted to reach out to him, but it seemed like it was too late. And I didn’t know how to get in touch with him anyway.” She sighed and uncrossed her arms, clasping her hands together on the desk. “Is he doing okay?”

I nodded, still shunned by her confession. “Yeah. I mean, we’re dealing with…all of this,” I said, waving my hand in the air, searching for words. “But he’s good. He’s gonna be okay.” I nodded.

She sighed heavily, letting her shoulders fall a little. “Good.” She nodded back. “Um…I can’t face him. Not right now. But…would you give him a note from me?” She pulled out a notepad and pen and let the pen hover over the notepad as she waited for me to answer.

“Of course,” I answered gently.

She began to write and I pulled out my phone, hoping I didn’t miss anything from Callan. But there was nothing. I put my phone back in my pocket as Sarah finished up, folding the paper and then handing it to me.

“It’s an apology. Long overdue,” she said with a small smile.

I nodded as I took the note. “Thank you for your honesty, Sarah. I’m sure that wasn’t easy.”

Her eyebrows twitched as her lips curled into a smile. “You’re eighteen?”

I laughed and nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. You just seem older. Too smart for an eighteen year-old.” She shrugged, opening up her office door.

“I hear that a lot,” I admitted.

She gave me a small smile. “I’ll see you later, Sloane.”

I was still shaking as I walked down the hall, relief flooding through me. I had to call Callan right away. After I stopped for a selfie that the receptionist requested, I exited the building and pulled out my phone. My phone vibrated with a text, and as I stared at the message from an unknown number, a wave of anxiety surged through my chest.What the fuck?!

You’re just as bad as your dad, keeping dirty little secrets. Better tell him to confess everything, or I’ll ruin your whole family.

30

Callan

I just ended the call with Nick, my sponsor. He always managed to talk me down whenever I called him to vent or when I was just feeling like shit—which was often. He was like a therapist, but also a friend. And I didn’t have to pay him. I hadn’t wanted to admit to relapsing, but I needed to take accountability. I needed him to know how close I was to slipping again. As always, he helped me calm down.

Then Sloane called. I stared at my phone, my heart sinking—was she calling with good news or bad? I answered and put her on speaker, sinking to my knees and clasping my hands together on the bed like I was praying. I hadn’t prayed in a long time, but I sure as fuck was doing it now.

“Sloane, baby,” I managed to choke out.

“Callan.” Her voice was just as shaky as mine was. “Callan, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I doubted you,” she cried.

Relief washed over me, and the tears I’d been holding back came pouring out. I didn’t do it. I didn’t fucking do it. I couldn’t understand why I had doubted myself so much in the first place—I knew I’d never do something like that. Sarah was fucking crazy, but for once, she’d told the truth. Of course, it was only after she’d already ruined my life.

”Baby, it’s okay. Just get back here. I need to fucking hold you. You need me to get you?” I was already up on my feet before I waited for her answer.

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