Page 38 of Beneath Cherry Blossom Memories

Pulling back the curtain, I step up to Eli’s bed. He’s got a single IV in his hand, a heart monitor attached to the tip of his finger, and a blood pressure cuff on his arm. He sees me, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks and crumbles. I hurry to his side and take his hand. He cries harder, black hair tangled and sticking to his cheeks. I notice his absent lip rings and the paper-thin gown he’s dressed in, and I can’t seem to stop myself.

I brush the tips of my fingers down the bridge of his nose. His eyes flutter shut while his shoulders tremble. I feel his wet eyelashes, using my thumb to swipe the tears away. I’m going to regret being here tonight. There’s no way I won’t because nothing is going to change. That doesn’t mean I’m walking away. I doubt I could even if I wanted to. Bending to kiss his eyes, I nuzzle him like I used to, carding my fingers in his sweaty hair.

He smells terrible, but I don’t stop. “It’s alright,” I whisper, throat bobbing.

Clinging to me, he shudders hard. “Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t.”

His sweaty hand squeezes the back of my head desperately. “Don’t let them take me.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the nurse set down the papers and then leave. “No one is going to take you.”

“I’m better. I’m okay. They gave me medicine.” He’s got IV fluids pumping in, and most likely, they gave him something for the vomiting. “Don’t let them. Please don’t let them, Phoenix.”

My heart is breaking hearing him like this—so raw and petrified. “They just need to do a scope, sweetheart. That’s all.”

His head jerks next to my cheek. “No.”

“You have to let them. They need to find out what’s wrong.”

“No,” he begs, nearly pulling me on top of him. His tears hit my neck as he buries his face in it.

Fuck me.

I kiss his temple and the top of his head, squeezing his hand tight. My eyes burn while I contemplate how to get him to do what needs to be done. “What are you afraid of?” I ask, figuring he won’t answer.

“That I’ll die. I’ll die just like them and won’t know it until it’s too late.”

“You’re not going to die,” I promise, pulling back so I can look into his eyes. “It’s probably something fixable. But we need to knowwhat, okay? Will you let them check? Please? For me?”

He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. “I don’t want to die,” he mutters, glancing down at his lap. “I used to. I used to all the time. I don’t want to anymore.”

“I don’t want you to die either. I want you to feel better. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

He peeks at me, hair half covering his face just like I deliberately do with mine to hide when I’m vulnerable. God, how have I not noticed this about him? I spot a chair just behind me. I go to grab it, but he instantly panics. Shooting upright, he claws at me and yanks me to the point I’m bent in half. His arms lace around my neck, constantly trembling. “Don’t go.”

“You want me right here?” I ask into his hair.

“Yes,” he breathes, relaxing just a fraction.

I cup the back of his head and nod. “Nothing is going to hurt you. Not while I’m here.”

Eli eventually agreed to the endoscopy.

They have him in another part of the hospital for the procedure, and just like before, I wasn’t allowed to go with him. I’m proud of him, though. He calmed down while I held him and agreed to do the procedure as long as I didn’t leave the hospital. So, now I’m waiting. He’s been gone for about twenty minutes, which tells me nothing. I don’t know how long this stuff takes. Just as I pull out my phone to Google it, a new nurse pops in.

“Hi,” he says. “There is a gentleman in the waiting area insisting he’s Mr. Madden’s partner.”

Fuck. I completely forgot about Leon.

“His nurse said that you were—um.” He shifts awkwardly, not knowing who I am to Eli. “I’m going to need to let him back here.”

No. No, he can’t come back here. Eli only agreed to this shit because ofme.If I leave this area, he’ll think Ileft.“Eli asked for me to stay,” I tell him.

“Yes, but I still have to let his partner back here. I’m sorry. You can wait in the lobby and switch with his partner at some point.”Partner.The word makes my blood sizzle.

I want to argue. I want to deck this fucker, but I swallow down my protests and stand. “Please tell Eli’s nurse that I’m not leaving the hospital. Please make sure he knows that.”

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