Page 76 of Beneath Cherry Blossom Memories

“Are you lying?” I whisper and lick one of his balls.

“No.”

I like that answer. Getting off my stomach so I can finger him harder, I hover over him and take in his face. Those kiss-swollen lips, his hooded eyes, and how fucking beautiful he looks getting fucked by my hand. His cock is angry and red, leaking all over his stomach. Reaching for me, he yanks on my hair and crushes our mouths together. My ring finger teases his outer rim before joining the other two.

“Phoenix,” he gasps.

I suck his tongue hard before attacking his lips. The kiss is passion and devastation. It’s my pain and his. It’s my love for him, my soul-deepneedto be what he wants, and my silent prayer that he lets me keep him forever. He deserves to be wanted forever. I can be that man for him. I know it. He’s the love of my life. And even if I were the one impaled on his fingers, I’d still feel that way. Sex or no sex, I am confident we can have more than what we’ve allowed ourselves.

“I love you,” I pant against his mouth.

He whimpers and kisses me harder.

“Ilove you,” I repeat it because he needs to know. “Please let me love you,” I beg him and pull my fingers free.

Eli

Here I Am

Iwant to let him love me. God, I do.

It’s shitty of him to drop this on me while he’s lining his dick up with my ass, but that’s Phoenix. Inconvenient. Unignorable. Needy and insistent when he wants to be.

Fuck, I think I love him. I really do.

He rubs his face against mine, breathing hard and slowly easing into me. The burn is instant. Hissing through my teeth, I clench involuntarily.

“Shit. I should’ve warned you,” he says and pulls out.

“No, it’s okay. I can take it.” I urge him back with firm fingers on his hips.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

I kiss him fast. “You’re not. Promise.” At least not physically. Emotionally? I’m dying slowly because, despite this new shit we’re doing, I know how it’ll end—how ithasto end.

The truth is, I don’t know how to be loved. I don’t know anything about it. If I had to guess, I’d say that what we’ve been doing is close but not quite. What I feel for him must be love. Who else would make me this way? But how tobeon the receiving end of it? Yeah. I'm lost. The problem lies with me and always will as long as I stay on this path. Just thinking about what I have to do softens my cock while Phoenix nudges my hole. My head wants to check out. Hop on that train to disassociation. It’s what happens when I don’t want to face reality—when I know it’ll hurt.

“Look at me,” he commands, and I realize my eyes are sealed shut.

They flutter open, and he breaches me again. I blow out a breath, relax my body, and let him in. Once his cockhead is through, we both groan. There’s nothing like sinking into a tight, wet, hot ass. And knowing Phoenix is doing this to me, fucking his big dick into me, helps ease the sting of stretching for him. Shudders ripple through his limbs when his hips meet the backs of my thighs. He blinks down at me, those chimera eyes swirling with lust, love, and everything in between.

“Can I stay here?” he whispers, kissing me softly.

“As long as you want,” I breathe.

That is the truth. I’d let him live inside me if it would fix all our problems. He pulls back, almost exiting my body entirely before thrusting back in. The headboard knocks against the wall.

When he does it again, my body comes alive.

I didn’t think letting him fuck me would be anything life-changing, sex is always the best with him, but I feel vulnerable. Exposed and raw. He could scrape at fleshy bits I’m revealing to him. He could ruin me.

“I got you, sweetheart,” he whispers sweetly, feeling me. He knows. Phoenix always knows. Repositioning so he can lift my uninjured leg over his arm, his cock nails my prostate, and I cry out. “There it is.”

He gets a rhythm going, slow and steady but hard enough that I feel him fucking everywhere. He kisses my tattoo, so sweet and tender that tears prick my eyes. “Damn you,” I whimper, hating that I’m meeting him thrust for thrust. Hating that those three little words are like lead weights on my tongue. “Fuck.” I cling to him, writhing and mewling like I’m in heat.

He feels so damn good. I didn’t think it could feel better than it already does between us. When we’re connected, skin on skin, no pretenses, no fucking bad shit. Just him and I. But he’s blowing a hole in that illusion. This is better than anything we've ever done. Every nerve is like a live wire sending shocks through my system. His cock is hot and thick, claiming me from the inside out. Only Phoenix can make missionary feel like a holy experience. The tingles start at the base of my spine as my balls bunch.

“Baby,” I pant, “I want to come.”

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