Page 88 of Beneath Cherry Blossom Memories

He moves farther down my body with endless kisses. And when he gets to the cherry blossom tree on my side, he drags the pad of his finger over each blossom with my family’s initials. My dick pulses and throbs, confused why he stopped his delicious descent. I lift my head to see what he’s doing.

“Do you know why I have these?” he asks, tracing one of the petals.

“I asked before. You wouldn’t tell me.”

A cute little smirk forms on his lips before it drops. Then he leans down to kiss my side. He lingers there for a few moments, breathing in my skin and squeezing my hip. “Cherry blossoms are one of the shortest-lived flowers,” he whispers, eyes shut. “They symbolize the beauty in fleeting life. But I always felt a connection to them because I never thought I’d live for very long. An aesthetically pleasing tragedy.”

“They also serve as a reminder to appreciate what we have while we have it,” I add. “And hope.”

“I suppose,” he breaths and kisses me once more before opening his eyes. “I’ve never had that. Hope. Not until very recently.”

“Then hold onto it,” I tell him, caressing his face. “Don’t ever let it go.”

He leans into my touch, holding my eyes. “I’m trying not to.”

I drag my thumb over his lips before tucking them under his chin. “You’re not a tragedy, sweetheart. You’ve never been that. To me, you’ve always been kismet. Inevitable.”

“That’s corny as all hell, Phoenix,” he says through a wet laugh, crawling back up my body and kissing me hard.

I smile against his lips, but it’s pained. I mean that shit. It’s the damn truth. When he finally pulls away, I tuck that one stray curl behind his ear and say, “I feel like I’ve died over and over again being with you.” He flinches, so I rush out the rest of what I want to say before he can overthink it. “Loving you has been a poison and an antidote. It’s the most intense push and pull I’ve ever experienced, but I’d never change it. Ever. We might burn so hot that we become ash, but we always come back from it. Stronger, brighter, and better than before. I believe that this death, the one I know I’m going to feel just as deeply as you, will be our last one.”

“What if we don’t come back this time? What if our roots die?” he asks softly, twirling some of my hair around his finger.

“We will. And when this is all over, and we see each other again, we will know, sweetheart. We’ll fucking know.”

His lips part as his eyes widen. “You remember that?”

“Every word. I can’t give you all that life, but I can give you the ending. I will give you that ending. I’ll even get the damn dog.”

He laughs loudly, forehead dipping to my chest as he squeezes my sides. “Think I’ll be a dancer? Like…with a studio?”

“We’ll make it happen.”

“Yeah?” he peeks up at me, looking so beautiful and like he might believe what I’m saying.

“Yes. Whatever you want, as long as it’s withme.”

Iwake to warm, wet suction around my cock. It’s soft and slow, unlike the frantic devouring we did last night.

A moan escapes me as I absently reach down to feel Eli’s head bobbing on me. He hums in appreciation, cupping my sensitive balls and squeezing gently. Fuck, that’s good. Willing my eyes to open and check the time, I moan again because he’s hollowing out his cheeks and swallowing. It’s 4 am. I need to be up anyway.

He licks a stripe up my length before curling his tongue around my cockhead and dipping it into my slit. My fingers tighten in his hair, my breaths come out ragged. Despite all my professions last night, I still cried after we made love, still held him to me like he’d vanish if I eased up even a fraction. And when we fell asleep, I had nightmares that he slipped out and disappeared.

But he’s here. He’s here, and he's soothing me with his touch.

“Mmm.” I feel where his lips are stretched around me, unable to see too well in the darkness. “Feels good.”

I expect him to pick up the pace or try to go for my ass, but he just whimpers around my cock. Lifting my head and squinting, I see the shadow of his body writhing and feel the tremble in his hands where he grips my thighs. “Hey,” I coo, easing him off me. “Hey, come here.”

He comes easily, sniffling, and clings to me. “It’s not working,” he croaks, burying his face in my throat.

“What’s not?”

“Sex. I’m trying to get you off because you’re going to leave, and I just want a piece of you in me. I thought if I just had that, I could do this. Be braver. It’s just not working, and I’m so scared.”

“Fuck, Eli,” I grunt, kissing the top of his head and stroking his back. He shakes uncontrollably in my arms. “What are you scared of?”

“Failing. Fucking up. All that shit you said to me got under my skin, and I couldn’t sleep,” he rushes out, lifting his hips and positioning my half-hard dick at his hole.

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