Page 95 of Beneath Cherry Blossom Memories

“Oh, me either. I’m just fucking flexing,” Jorge spits.

“Stop, man. Let them talk,” Devon insists, while Michael, not so subtly, puts his entire body between the two of them.

“You say one wrong word.One,” Jorge warns.

“It’s fine, stop,” I insist. “Sure. Let’s talk,” I tell Leon.

We both move away from my band. Jorge motioning slitting a throat as we do. I wince because I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately. He’s been almost suffocating with how needy and protective he’s been since we left for the tour. He cuddles me every night and tells me I’m his best friend. Dude, I get it, but like backoffa bit. I’ve always been okay with his need to be handsy. That’s just how he is. But it’s to the point where people are going to thinkweare fucking.

And now this stunt?

I shake those thoughts away because now I’m out of sight…with Leon. “Sup,” I say, deepening my voice and casually puffing up my chest. Yeah, I’m peacocking a little.

“I was wondering how Elijah has been?”

He doesn’t deserve to know. He has no right to that information. But the look in his eyes and somewhat defeated body language have me loosening my lips. “He’s doing okay.” I honestly don’t know if he is, but that’s what I’m hoping.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s…getting some help.”

“Good. Good. I was hoping he would.”

I narrow my eyes on him, feeling like he might think this would be a prime opportunity to get back with Eli. Or contact him. Or think about him as more than a fling that ended and has no chance of restarting. “After all he’s been through, I’m doing all I can to support and help him make healthy choices. He just needed a safe place to make the decision to get better.”

Yeah, it’s a subtle dig. What the fuck ever. Eli ismine.Leon nods, shifting on his feet. “I’m sorry if I made it weird for you.”

“You didn’t,” I lie through my teeth, wanting this to end. “It’s all good.” It isn’t. He’s a cunt.

“Well, it seems he made a good choice with you…then.”

Damn straight. “I love him,” I say confidently. “It’s always been him for me.”

“I get it.” He smiles a little, but it’s a sad one. “Anyway. That new song is killer. The double peddle during the bridge is wicked.”

And he carries me into a ten-minute conversation about drums.

By the time we split up, I filled in Jorge about what happened, and we finished sound check; I’m ready to return to the hotel. Yeah, it’s weird being on tour with Eli’s ex, even if it was a bullshit relationship, to begin with, but I have to let that shit go. I can’t let my jealousy ruin this for my band. So, I don’t.

We play the show, and I nod to Leon once we take down our stuff. Then, I go back to the hotel to text Eli all about it. I miss him so badly that I let Jorge cuddle me and tell me it will all be alright.

Eli

One Month

Well. I’m not getting my phone back like all the other newbs.

I probably shouldn’t have punched that nurse or tried to strangle myself with my shirt. I really couldn’t hang those first few days. Whereas my nurse, Brenda, has been patient and kind, my other nurse, Connor, is a dickhead. He’s all tough love and no wiggle room.

And don’t even get me started on my therapist. He just slurps my trauma right out of the lockbox I keep it in and throws it all out there in the open.

So, yeah, I lost my shit.

I tried to run away on the third day. Saw an open door and fucking bolted. I got sedated for that one, and it was nowhere near as fun as the Ramones song says it is. I’m…better now. Marginally.

I’m in the recreational room, playing checkers with this kid named Patrick. He’s fucking weird and twitches a lot. But he’s a beast at this game, and if I have one goal before leaving this hellhole, it’s to beat his ass.

“Your move,” he tells me, stealing one of my pieces.

---