Page 1 of Strange Lad

Jorge

Walking On Sunshine

Ihave a secret.

A filthy, horrible, backstabbing secret that I’ll keep clutched to my chest for however long I need to. This is what I get for being a nice guy, honestly. I’m charming, friendly, and have a hero complex like a sonofabitch. It’s easier to save other people than yourself, after all. And I'll use all my talents to my advantage if it keeps up my facade.

It’s not that I’m secretly depressed or miserable. I’ve got it good, all things considered. But thereisthe monumental lie I can’t seem to own up to, even though I know without a shadow of a doubt that it’ll cost me the most important person in my life. What’s worse is that it really started off so innocently. I was just trying to be helpful. My best friend just had his heart broken, and I scrambled to findanythingto make it better—even minimally.

Like, I’m the bestest friend ever.

It’s what I do.

I'll never understand how it transformed into what it is now. As if the secret itself wasn’t bad enough, I’m fucking attached.Like, I’m a stage five clinger. My phone is glued to my hand as often as it can be. I wait with bated breath for the texts, video calls, and time off from doing band stuff. I’m so shady and don’t know why anyone hasn’t noticed.

Well, Phoenix is too busy wanting to stuff his dick up his boyfriend’s ass—Devon and Michael like their alone time away from my neediness. And Kelly is just…Kelly. Independent as they come, that one.

So, maybe it isn’t so farfetched that I haven’t been found out yet. But it’s only a matter of time.

We are finally back home from our European tour, and our plane just landed. I power on my phone, itching to get my fix, needing to send out the text that says I’m home—available.I’m nauseous and excited all at the same time.

God, I can’t wait to see him. He’s been doingso good.I’m super proud.

The seatbelt light clicks off as the plane pulls up to the terminal, and we all stand to grab our shit from the overhead compartments. Phoenix is anxious, chomping at the bit to get off because he’s going straight to Eli. I guess I’m proud of that fucker too. I always knew he had it in him. And my expert and sage advice has nothing to do with experience. No, it’s due to this secret.

Ugh. I’m a terrible,terribleperson.

I get in the line of people ready to get off this bitch while Phoenix says something to Kelly behind me, but I can’t focus on that right now. No. I pull up the text thread, and my fingers fly over the keyboard at light speed.

Just landed.

He reads it instantly. God, this is bad. So,sobad.

Oliver: See you soon?

Yup.

I’ll get ready.

I bite back a smile.

For the past year or so, our friendship has become infectious—something more profound than I’d ever thought it’d become. When I wake up, my first thought is to check on Oli. When I go to sleep, I wonder what he’s doing. During the day, I chat with him as much as humanly possible because it’s easy and fun. Most of the time, I feel like a placeholder for people, but with Oli, he makes me feel like the most important person in the whole world. It’s too addicting to give up.

I’m already anticipating how our game will go when I get there.

Fuck I hope I win this time.

Getting your ass kicked at a game you are pretty decent at isn’t cool. Granted, it’s mostly strategy based, but I know how to plan accordingly.

Most of the time.

I hope he lets me get in a good hug, too.

Oli is strange when it comes to being touched. We’ve never talked about why; it’s simply something I’ve noticed in our growing friendship. However, it bothers me that he won’t let me express myself. Being so affectionate and essentially having to sit on my hands is difficult. It’s been three months, though. He’s got to let me hug himnow.But even if he doesn’t, I have a feeling he’ll eventually let me squeeze him.

It’s that sad look he gets in his eyes that rips the big ‘ol teddy bear right out of me.

“Move!” Phoenix barks behind me, but I’m too busy deciding what to write back to Oli.

---