Page 42 of Strange Lad

I can control my actions.But can I? It’d be so easy to order the drink. It’d be even easier to find my old contacts. I know where they hang out. I have cash…

“Oliver.”

“I’m here.”

“You are stronger than the pull.”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Go outside,” he demands. “Right now.”

My body stiffens.

“Do it, beautiful.”

I suck in a harsh breath, blink myself out of the spiral I’m falling in, and lift from the stool. “That’s it. You’re doing so good.”

My heart rattles in my chest, but I turn away from the bar and breathe. “Keep moving.” So I do; I let his voice guide me right out of the building.

The warm air brushes over my face as I tilt my head back. “Fuck, I’m proud of you.”

“I’m outside,” I tell him.

“I know. I knew you could do it.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice cracking as it comes crashing down on me what I almost did. “Fuck. I just…I saw Phoenix and—

“It’s okay. It’s alright,” he soothes, and it feels like a firm hug. “You’re allowed to fumble. You’re allowed to slip. Just don’t fall. I’m five minutes away.”

“Can I come back to your house? I…I don’t want to go home.”

“Of course.”

Jorge taps his chin while studying me. We came into his kitchen when we first got to his house to get something to drink, and we’ve been at a standstill since. When he met me at the bar, I swear he looked ready to either grab me or kiss me, but since he agreed to go at my pace, he did neither. As strange as it is, I would’ve taken either at that moment. Something to snap me out of this funk.

“Well,” he starts, sighing, “Phoenix is upset. I had to think fast and come up with an excuse for him and Eli not to come over.”

I tense, hating that I’ve put him in this position, but at the same time, my brother can go fuck himself. Jorge is mine. “He ambushed me!” I defend, crossing my arms.

“Did he, though?” Jorge’s eyebrow arches, and it does things to me. He looks really good when he’s bossy. Like a protector. Fierce.

“I’m not an idiot,” I huff. “I know he was there for Eli, but…”

“You don’t have to talk to him. That’s your right as a human. I’m trying to figure out how seeing him led you to the bar.”

“I don’t know either,” I lie.

“Yes, you do.” Now it’s his turn to fold his arms as his brown eyes pin me in place.

“Why do you look so angry right now?”

“Because I am. A little. I was so worried.” Ah, there it is. The fissure in his paper armor. His chin wobbles as he blinks hard. “You’ve worked so hard, Oli. Too hard to let anyone make you go down that fucking road again. And you didn’t call me. You didn’t text me. I’ve been waiting for you all day.”

I drop my arms, stomach in knots. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” he sniffles, “I just—”

“I should have let you know. Should’ve asked for help.”

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