Page 60 of Strange Lad

“It does. But it’s not easy. I guess I never knew how bad my problem was until I actively tried not to have one. Even though I’ve been sober almost four months, I feel the urge daily.”

I normally would have some sage advice at this current time, but all I can think about is Oli potentially sneaking out my bedroom window to go pee on the morning glory vines beside it. Wetting my lips, I try to remember when Oli and I first reconnected. How desperate he’d been for help, foranyone.All I did was ask how he was, and he exploded. Years of hurt and loneliness spilled from his lips in small spurts. I knew he was high during that first conversation, but he was so down on himself. So…sad.

Hell, if anyone would know what Eli is going through, it’d be Oli, not me.

“From what I know, which isn’t much, the cravings will always be there. I think it’s about how you approach them is what matters the most.”

Phoenix and Eli both blink at me. I shrivel into my blankets and hide in my tea, blowing on it dramatically. Finally, Eli murmurs, “Kristen, from group, says that to us a lot.”

Yeah.

I know.

God, I can’t have them here anymore.

“Anyway,” I say loudly, wincing through the sharp slice in my throat. “I think I’m going to take a nap.”

Phoenix sighs and nods. “Yeah. We should head out, too. Helios is probably pissed his dinner is late.”

Eli chuckles, shaking his head. “You and that damn cat.”

“Excuse me, he is mychild,” Phoenix defends before pinching Eli’s ass. “Have you heard from Kelly?” he asks me as they stand up.

“She’s texted.”

Kelly has been staying with her Great Aunt for the past few weeks. Phoenix and Eli fuck loudly, I guess, so she’s been recording all her parts remotely and sending them to Devon to mix in with the other tracks for the new record. I don’t think I’d blame her if I was in her position.

It takes another ten minutes, drawn-out goodbyes and Phoenix demanding I call him if I get worse so he can take me to the doctor before I finally slide the deadbolt in my front door. I rarely use that thing, but I need maximum security right now. As I spin around to call out for Oli, the bedroom door flies open, and herunsto the bathroom. I wait, hearing the loud stream of his piss hitting the toilet and a soft grunt, and then the toilet flushes.

He washes his hands, and when the sink turns off and he comes out, he laughs. “I was about to risk climbing out the window just so I didn’t make a mess.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t,” I wheeze, my lungs rattling.

“I tried, but the damn frame squeaked so loud I’m shocked no one heard it, so I waited.”

“They just wouldn’tgo.”

We both move simultaneously, approaching at a steady but quick pace. When we’re toe to toe, he looks me over, and I offer him a weak smile.

“Good news is that I got your spot nice and warm.”

“God, I love you,” I groan and Oli sputters.

Oli

Voices

That’s twice now.

Twice.

I am frozen in place as he hobbles past me and into the bedroom like he didn’t just reach into my chest, jiggle the ever-loving fuck out of my heart, and then leave it hanging by loose threads.

What?

Not thrilled to be back in that room afterfour hours, I follow him. He climbs into his bed, sighing happily when he discovers the warm right side of his king-sized mattress. I wait for him to get under the covers and snuggle onto his pillow.

When he makes grabby hands at me, I lose it. “You can’t say that shit to me,” I growl, irritated, hungry and triggered asfuck.

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